SassySwuzy

New Job for Fall

2007-08-28T13:21:00.000-07:00

I know! I dont update anymore... However just some quick news. I finally have obtained a new job. I won't start for a few weeks, but I am looking forward to moving on with my life...
I will be working as an assistant to the Director of Sales for Nintendo USA. They are flying me to Seattle for training, which should be interesting.
It is a better job at a better company.
I am hoping I dont fail at it!

P.S. Yes I have heard that I do get a discount. I dont know what it is.

Updates

2007-04-18T16:24:00.001-07:00

Just a quick positing to let everyone know what is up…
I'm still looking for a job. I interviewed for the one I would love… but the only info I have received back is that they are still interviewing. This makes me sad. However, they are a very SLOW moving company. So I am trying to remind myself of that. BUT, I am sending out more resumes… as I do not think I can depend on them as a future employer. BLAH. Back to the drawing board!
For those of you who read Shaun's blog, the big news in our life is that Shaun's mother is engaged. Shocking, I know. It is overall a good thing. It takes A LOT of pressure off of us. The man who she is engaged to is her roommate… He is over 20 years older than her, and like her, has a lot of medical problems. However, he seems genuine and honest. He is very much a caretaker. Neither of them have much money, so there is no real issue there. However I personally am having a lot of issues with an impending wedding. They won’t just be married in front of the justice of the peace, but she wants a real wedding. With our help and our input. Flowers, dress, shoes, photographer… the whole shebang. Maybe I am still bitter over her not attending our wedding and putting us through hell the 6 weeks prior to, but my heart is just not in a good place. Shaun and I have discussed, and I plan on attending, but will have nothing to do with planning. It is just too hard, and I am pretty sure she wants my help so as to make up for her not attending ours. Like a bonding session. She has never really apologized to us… she has tried, but it has been lackluster, and she always pins it back on us… saying it was out fault that she didn’t attend. I should probably be more forgiving, but I am a person who needs time to heal, and like I said, anything that I would have to do would probably be done with resentment. Unfortunately we still need to break the news to her, that I am taking a step back… and right now I am personally avoiding her… making Shaun do all the dirty work. Really though, am I a horrible person for not helping out?
Other than that, we will be in Detroit for a few days next month, visiting Shaun’s grandma. It should be a nice break for us, as both of us are very very burnt out. I wish it could be a longer vacation. But we just don’t have the time.

End of March already?

2007-03-30T14:59:00.000-07:00

As always it has taken me a very long time to update. The last month has been pretty busy. People have been visiting and work has been crazy. I am very much looking forward to a weekend of pure relaxation… which unfortunately won’t be this weekend. Tons of chores to do, and errands to run.

Updates on life… hmmm…. Having all the girls visit was great! I especially liked our meal at the cliff house and our trip to the Vivienne Westwood exhibit at the De Young. Hillary definitely does seem like she is a year older though… just kidding. She still looks young enough to get carded. I wish we all could get together more often than once every two years!

I am in the process of applying for a new job. I had an interview this week with Cathay Pacific, a major Hong Kong airline. I don’t think the interview went all that well. Or at least I don’t think I am a good match for the job. We’ll see
However, I have a very very exciting interview this Wednesday. I am not going to name the company, but it would be a great job… and I actually would get to use my degree as well as my job experience. I think I would really really love working for this company and that I would be a great match… I would get to do some research about contemporary film audiences’ as well doing all the usual coordinating and assisting that has kept me clothed and fed for the last 8 years or so. But of course I know I won’t get the job. I have kinda given up about actually working and making a living doing something that is enjoyable or at least not mind numbing. I think it may be my lot in life. However, it is crosses your mind, maybe think about me when saying a pray or two… I def need out of my current job situation. I am not happy at all. (But I don’t want to be let go without a back up job either)

Other than that… things are a little difficult at the moment with Shaun’s mom. She is currently in lock down at Stanford. Which is good, she needs to be there. But she doesn’t seem motivated to find ongoing treatment once she will be released. Which means, she will probably just bounce back and forth between living in her apartment and checking into the hospital. Which kinda drives her roommate up the wall, as he is the one who has been taking care of her when she is crashing. Shaun and I are thankful he is there though, otherwise it would all fall on us.

Not to end on a bad note… but that is really all that is going on… maybe... hopefully I’ll get to update more often…

Oscars 07

2007-02-28T15:19:00.000-08:00

I know everyone has been waiting patiently for my review of the oscars this year. Sorry it has taken me a few days. I just got an ergonomic keyboard and I am still getting use to typing on it. Hopefully I will notice if my hands are still posistioned correctlly on this thing and that I am not just typing jibberish.
SO, I did watch all four miserable hours of this year's oscars. I did find them more entertaining than this year's grammys, which were really boring... but overall they were just ok. I did think Ellen was funny. But then I am not too particular about hosts. No matter who is hosting, the show always seems long.
I do not know why the academy awards, year after year, keep including some sort of interpretive dance sequence. Througout the whole thing I would have to concentrat on these moments of dancers doing something that I didn't really care about. Penguins! a shooting gun! I want stars at the Oscars! Not shillouetted bodies!
Moving on to the films. I have not seen many of the films nominated. That being said, I still have opionions regarding them. Such as I would like to see The Departed, but know that when i do see it, I will be bored out of my mind. I think all of Scorses's films are long and I find very little interesting about them. The departed even has Jack Nicolson, so I sure the film is bloated and overly dramatic. BUT MARKY MARK is in it! So i will see for sure, and may find it to have redeemable moments that earned it's oscars.
Like every reviewer, I was happy that Jennifer Hudson won the best supporting actress category. I am not sure if her her acting skills are even very good.. like will she be good in other types of roles or movies? But her singing "you're gonna love me" in dream girls was mesmorizing and breattaking. She broke through the fourth wall and it was a very viscreal moment of film art. Now as for the rest of the film, Dreamgirls was pretty good. I did think Eddid Murphey should have won the Oscar (even though I find him to be a despicable human being... leaving Scary Spice pregnant and all..)... In the movie he was funny, fresh, and could sing. But besides Hudson's one big scene, I thought most of the other muscial moments in the film were awkward and disjointed. I think whoever directed DreamGirls would have benefited from watching some of the classic muscials.. it may have made his film flow a little bit smoother.
I like Alan Arkin in Little Miss Sunshine. He did a great job of being a likeable drug addict jerk. His interaction with the little girl was great, probably the best part about the movie. The movie as a whole was ok. I wasn't blown away by the cuteness of the thing, or the rehasing of Weekend at Bernies. Not the most remarkable independent comedy I've ever seen.
I don't have much else to say about the Oscars. I didn't like Michael Mann's sequence about the History of Film. He really stood up for his last name -MANN- though. He must only watch movies that have men in them. Cuz that is all I saw. Love that equality at the oscars. So PC.
I'm not really looking forward to watching either Babel or The Queen. I probably will, but I doubt I will like them.
What I do want to know, did anyone see any good movies in 2006? I have thought about it for a couple of nights now, and nothing really sticks out to me as being a great movie... i mean I liked Borat, Jackass 2, The Natvity, and Idiocracy... other than that... I dont remember liking anyting!
Someone help me out here!

updating

2007-01-29T10:06:00.000-08:00

It has been awhile since i have really given any life updates on here... well not as long as Hillary... but I have been busy... and I'm sure Hillary has been too... (or, at least she has her reasons...)

Things have been relativly good for the past month or so. The holidays were great, with the exception of having to work the day after Christmas. I will take that day off next year for sure.

We have started to attend a new church. The church we had been going to was fine... it was rather large and the people were friendly... it was just a bit of a drive for us on Sunday mornings. Shaun and I found ourselves not really being motivated to go. We were going to a bible study through that church also, and it just seemed, after our horrific month of October , that we didn't have a whole lot of motivation to attend a study in the city of San Francisco... (driving and parking are awful and would take an extra 30 - 60 min to do so)
Our new church is close and small. It is warm and friendly and we are looking forward to meeting more people there.

We may or may not be moving in April. It is a difficult decision. I really hate moving. It is a lot of work, and we are always moving Shaun's mother, so I am really tired of lifting and carrying boxes. However, I dont think another summer in the fog is healthy for me. I was extremely depressed last year, and know I would benefit from more sun. So I am not sure what to do... We have to move Shaun's mom AGAIN in the next few weeks. She is staying in the same assisted living center, but she is moving to a different room. Recently she has made friends with a man at her center, and they will be moving in together. I have a few mixed feelings about this... it has been great in some regards b/c he has taken a lot of pressure off of us. However, if things sour between them, and she reacts the way she has in the past, she may be leaving a poor older man alone in an apartment he cannot afford. Shaunn and I realize that she is an adult, and it their decesion... but we so often have had to clean up messes for her. It is hard for us to trust her. This also means, that we have to move all of their stuff b/c they are too feeble to do it. (Shaun's mom will be undergoing surgery this week to have a pacemaker put in. Since she will be recovering, we will probably have to do a whole lot of work) Yuck I hate moving.... So, we may not be moving, basically b/c we are sick of it.

Moving on, my sister visited a few weeks ago, and we had a great time showing her and her boyfriend some of the highlights of the bay area.
Shaun and I are very much looking forward to Hillary, Kirsten, Lav and Fawn visiting in March. It will defintly be a time to remember!

Important news item

2007-01-12T08:21:00.000-08:00

Well it seems people like Captain Eeo way more than Honey I Shrunk the Audience. No surprise... Captain Eeo stars Michael before he turned white!
The reason Shaun and I had this debate going was b/c the other night he told me that Disneyland was creating a Finding Nemo ride. I misheard him, and thought he said they were creating a Captain Eeo ride. I asked if Michael Jackson was going to be in the ride. This then lead to a discussion of Eeo, and him stating that Honey I Shrunk the Audience was way way better. Baffled and confused.. I coudln't believe he liked it! So I thought I needed other opionions to confirm that Captain Eeo was truly the best 3D attraction Disney had. So that is the story...

In other news... I will quote from www.dlisted.com:

Bryan Abrams (Color Me Badd); Jeff Cronin (LFO); Jeff Timmons (98 Degrees) and Chris Kirkpatrick (N’Sync) will join has-been forces to create a new boy band and document the experience for Vh1. The untitled project will ask the question we all want the answer to (not really) “Can four grown up boy band heartthrobs join forces to capture new fame and fortune?”

The new group will live together for one year, fall in love with each other make new music, perform as a group and try to defy the odds. Every man is in a differet place in his life. Some are comfortable and just want to make good music and some need the dough badly.

Boy band? These hos are hardly boys, more like Pepaw group. Furthermore, where’s Jordan Knight?! No has-been, boy band group is complete without him!

I have heard about a similar show in England, and it is fiallly coming here! How exciting!

Vote now!

2007-01-10T21:15:00.000-08:00

At Dismal-Land, I mean Disneyland, which attraction was better...
Captain Eeo or Honey I Shrunk the Kids?????
Please leave me a comment.
(Shaun and I have a very important debate going on!)

New Year

2007-01-03T09:25:00.000-08:00

Maybe I am just getting really old (25 is getting up there in years,) but 2006 blew by so quickly. I have to say, it was a pretty good year... I do wish I could be doing something more productive with my life... but I'm not in a totally bad place either. I have been contemplating getting my teaching credential, but I am totally dreding a two year long program, learning things i already know, and then... on top of boredom.. being broke the whole time. However, teaching High School would be a good gig to get if Shaun and I ever have kids. I like teaching, and would love to teach at a junior college, but I just don't think I would be able to find a full time posistion. If I do start a credential program, I would need to start it soon... and I've heard that are kind of tough to get in to...

Anyway, New Years in Long Beach was a nice break.. It didn't seem like we were there very long...I miss my family a lot while living up here and would love to eventually move back down to So Cal. We didn't do much while we were down there, just ran some errands and played Shaun's Wii (the new nitendo) It was good, because our lives are usually just so busy.

However, I think leaving my cats home alone while we were in LB turned them ferrel... The whole apartment smells like "cat." Not cat urine, but there is a very strong pet oder... I have been trying to get rid of it with Febreze and scented candles. They cats have also become wild. And we only left them alone for four days. They are literally climbing the walls and tearing things to shreds. I do hope they calm down,

Merry Christmas!

2006-12-25T20:33:00.000-08:00

Shaun and I had a quiet day at home.... I did received some lovely presents from him, including two seasons of Buffy and a necklace I have wanted since we were in Hawaii.
We will be heading down to Long Beach at the end of the week for New Years....
In the meantime, these are some pics taken Christmas weekend.... (The dog is Shaun's mom new guide dog, Joey. He is totally cute!)

new blog

2006-11-29T10:09:00.000-08:00

Havent really been blogging! Not much is really going on. Both Shaun and I had colds over the Thanksgiving weekend, and didn't really do much of anything. Watched a lot of movies and took it easy... which was nice. We finally saw the move Borat! I thought I would be shocked more by his antics, but I guess people have been overhyping it, cuz i really wasn't that surprised.

I'm getting ready for the holidays... and have decorated my house with Christmas lights. We are staying in SF for actual Christmas day, but will be heading down to Long Beach before New Years. Mostly because I don't really like the idea of leaving Shaun's mom totally alone on Christmas... but then again.. I don't really like spending a whole lot of time with the lady. She is doing okay at the moment... she is taking the med's she is suppose to take, and her doctors are putting off giving her a defribulator. Mentally she has been stable for a few weeks. However, I am beginning to see the start of a downswing.. and well.. I'm scared.

Our cats are doing well. Minus that my pretty girl kitty has huge patches of fur missing because she is constantly wrestling with the kitten...and he doesn't hold back. He, by the way is super cuddly - but has the worst breath in the world. Serioously it smells like dirty feet. I don't know what to do.

Enough boring filler for now.

(Hillary I got your post card! We will totally have fun for your 29th plus one in March!)

Finally!

2006-11-12T19:33:00.000-08:00

I am finally posting these photos from Vegas!!!!!

Look how comfortable Kirsten looks those hunky men!

Las Vegas was really nothing but good times, and I am soooooo looking forward to spending more time with Kirsten and Bill in March.
For sure, we will have fun!

I am happy to say that after a pretty tough month, things are FINALLY returning to normal around here. The last couple of weekends have actually been relaxing... which has been great.

Hopefully now I have the time to be a better friend and call everyone to catch up!

update on an update

2006-10-26T09:01:00.000-07:00

Shaun's mom is not in a psychiatric clinin : ( Bad news. She is back in the hospital.
It is a frustrating situation, because her heart is in bad shape. She can't be in a psychiatric clinic until her heart problem gets better. But because she is so self destructive right now, she is not healing and rehabilitating well.
So she just goes back and forth between the nursing home and the hospital.
Yuck.
Anyway, I leave in a few hours for vegas.
Yes!

Updates

2006-10-25T08:39:00.000-07:00

October will finally be coming to an end next week! This has been one rough month!

Services for my grandmother went well on Friday. It was nice to spend some time with my family. Believe it or not, it was my first funeral. As such, I didn't really know what was appropirate or what it was going to be like. But it wasn't as stressful or depressing as I thought it was going to be.

My father had a bit of a scare right after his mother's funeral. Chest pains that led to an angioplasty. (spl?) He is ok, recovering in the hospital. He caught it in time though... the doctor said, had he waited any longer, he would have had a massive heartattack.

Shaun's mother was transfered last night to a psychiatric clinic (thank god!!!) She had been in a convlescent hospital recovering from heart failure, but had been acting out. (trying to run away, not taking her meds, etc.) She tried to break a window last night, and they transferred her. She currently is on a 72 hour hold... and then it will probably be up to her what she wants to do. We are hoping and praying that she will seek out help while there. For the last couple of years when undergoing psychiatric evaluation, she usually lies and says she is ok, so that she can be released. We know she is aware of her paranoia, dissoiciative patterns, and anerexia. We are hoping that she will take this opportunity to come to terms with her problems with the help of professionals.

I am really really looking forward to vegas tomorrow! Will all this drama that has gone down, I totally need a release!

when it rains, it pours

2006-10-15T22:21:00.000-07:00

Today, my grandmother passed away. She turned 93 on Oct 6th.
I will be heading down to so cal at the end of the week for services.

Goodbye Beppe.

fall

2006-10-10T12:54:00.000-07:00

the holidays must be approaching... because Shaun's mother is spiraling out of control.
Over the weekend she sufferd a heart attack that severely damaged her heart. However, there are no clogged arteries. So there is a chance, with medication, that he heart will heal. If not she will need to have a defrillbulator (spl?) put into her chest.
It is very sad, and Shaun and I were with her over the weekend as she recovered somewhat in the ICU.
It is also apparent that recenlty she has had a mental break. Her MPD and dissociative disorder has taken over her personality. (In a negative scary way!) This may be linked to her dissociating the pain she was expereiencing due to the heart attack, but of course, is also linked to her years of trauma and crazy lifestyle.
At the moment she is still in the hospital. The staff there would like to admit her into the psyche ward. But she is undecided, confused, and not all toghether able to make a decision.
We would love to have her there, given her physical and mental conditions. But we cannot make the decision, by law, for her.

Honestly

2006-10-06T08:22:00.000-07:00

Shaun and I have finally hit a pretty rough patch in our marriage. Well, at least I think it is rough because I feel terrible and unsupportive. The problem is that Shaun wants to go to grad school. He would like to get his Master's in film, like I did, with the goal in mind of eventually pursuing a PHD. And I am not totally okay with this idea. Which is bad because he supported me, emotionally and finacially through my degree. However I am not convinced that at this stage in our life if this is a good idea for the both of us. The honest truth is, I know we cannot afford him going to school full time. It would mean him taking out about 30,0000 in loans just to pursue the Master's degree. I would have to get a better paying job while he is in school just to make ends meet. If he were to pursue a PHD, it would be even more loans and me working very hard in an empty meaningless job. It would also probably mean us not have family or owning a home. I guess, even though it may be his dream, I just don't get how this will overall be a good thing for the two of us. Am I being a totally selfish and unsupportive wife? I am not convinced of that eitehr. I would be supportive of him going back to school if it were part time, and he could pay tuition without taking out loans. Or if the program he was interested in would have a quicker payoff.
I just don't think I am a strong enough person to pursue this dream with him. Potentially this all could be a "deal - breaker." I feel for myself that going back to school is out of the question at the moment. I have wracked up enough school and credit card debt to keep me working full time for the next five to ten years I feel I made some bad decisions, and now I have no choice but to pay for them. However if I did want to go back, right now... I know shaun would be totally supportive. Even it is were a bad idea.
So I am confused and saddened and would like other people's opinion on this. Am I being an unsupportive selfish wife? Not allowing my husband to obtain the career a career he would really love? Or does Shaun want something too impratical as we are broke and approaching thirty?

Meet Marky!

2006-09-10T11:38:00.000-07:00

Meet the newest member of our lil family... Marky Mark!

We adopted him from the Peninsula SPCA. He is a five month old boy with lots and lots of energy and who is also very lovey. And no, that thing on his face is not a booger, just a patch of dark fur that matches the pattern on his back. We picked him, because he was sturdy enough to stand up to our girl Willie. Someone at the SPCA had already given him the name of Mark, so we just changed it a little bit and made it cuter.

However, Willie was not too pleased when we first brought him home. And was very hissy.

But things are getting a little better. She still hisses all the time, but they chase each other around, and Miss Willie follows him everywhere. I think she is a little confused. She wants to play with him sooooo bad, but is still very cautious about the intrusion on her space. Hopefully they will be good friends soon enough. We got another cat because she had too much energy for us and thought she could use a kitten to wear her out.

Cold

2006-08-28T14:54:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I have posted... I know... but it has been seriously cold around here leaving me no choice but to be angry and bitter at the world. Which also means I have no desire to be social with anyone. Fall set in San Francisco litterally the day after my b-day and it has not been over 55 degrees at my apartment. It sucks and I hate my life. I cannot take another summer here. We must find another option. Or I will be on prozac before May 07.

I am not being funny eitehr.

I cannot even bear to write more. Signing off and wearing three layers....

bday

2006-08-09T08:33:00.000-07:00

It feels so weird to finally be 25... wow! The mid twenties... how depressing.
No real plans for today, heading out to Chilis tonight.. that is about it.

Anyway, things have been all right. I was down in SoCal over the weekend to visit my grandmother in the hospital. She is not doing so well as her bladder cancer has finally caught up with her and she keeps getting infections. I got to spend a little time with her, but mostly she was sleeping. And when she was awake, she was so out of it, she could not speak. I don't think many people in my family expect her to live much longer. My father currenlty is in the Netherlands until the end of the month. So hopefully, she can pull through until he gets back.

In other news, I have a meeting on Friday with a job recruiter. I am hoping she can place me somewhere that can meet my salary requirements. Also, it would be very cool if she could place me at a company that is a non-profit. However, that is probably too much to hope for.

I am really looking forward to going to Vegas in October! Even though I have been away multiple times this summer, it sure doesn't feel like enough!

Outed

2006-07-28T12:11:00.000-07:00

So Lance has finally come out of the closet. I am kinda shocked though. For some reason he made it past my gay-dar all those years... I mean... he was the WORST dancer in any of the boy bands. AND he was a TERRIBLE dresser. He wore overalls in the late 90s and into the beginning of the 21st century! I would have totally bet money that either Justin, Taylor, or Howie from the Backstreet boys was gay... but LANCE? I thought he had a gun and antique knive collection? Oh wait, I guess that is a give away...

Anyway... things are going ok. Except that my grandma is ill and will probably pass away sometime very soon. I will be going to visit her next weekend. She may not recognize me... which is ok, but I really hope not to scare her.

Also, I am updating my resume as I want out of my current job. Some things have gone down that I AM SO OVER... however, I want out.... So hopefully my job search will go well.

As promised!

2006-07-22T12:35:00.000-07:00

Some pics from our trip to Hawaii!
Shaun at the Dole Plantation!
(Which is my personal fave picture from the vaca.)

A view from our tent....
Malaekahana state campground.

On our actual honeymoon Shaun wanted to go bike-riding. I wasn't exactly thrilled at first, because once I graduated from UCSB I vowed never to ride a bike again. But in retrospect bike-riding in Hawaii was pretty fun. However, I probably won't pick it up as a hobby.

Shaun and I were called up onstage during our Luau at the Polynesian Cultural Center to slow dance for our anniversary.

And finally a pic from our hike through a rain-forest. More photos of our vacation can be found on Shaun's flickr page

Vacation time!

2006-07-17T11:05:00.000-07:00

Just got back from a much needed vaca to Hawaii. It is so nice there and it sucks to back here in the fog. Shaun and I got to do a ton of fun things... hiking, biking, snorkeling, swimming, pineapple tasting. It was a great trip.... with the exception of our accomodations. Really, the first hotel we stayed in was the worst room I have ever had. And remember Kirsten and I did Motel-6-it across America. The Polo Inn in Waikiki makes any Motel 6 seem like a three star modern hotel. We only stayed there because we had gotten it as a prize for sitting through a timeshare presentation. It was sooooo gross and dirty. We kept the lights on at all times hoping to scare away the roaches. I really tried not to touch any fixtures in the place. It was not really a romantic hotel to be on your first year anniversary, so I insisted that we stay out of the room for most of the time.

After three nights, we headed out to the North Shore where we stayed in a motel for one night and camped for two. I enjoyed both places much more than the polo inn. We got to camp yards away from the water and could enjoy the sun rise without getting out of bed. Now the toliets available at the campground, well, that is another story. It was a terrible situation. But I won't go into it.

I am in absolute love with the North Shore of Oahu. Really, I would move there in a second. However, I doubt there are any jobs. But it is so beautful and peaceful. I could really lead quite the kickback life there.

Our final night, we did get to stay in a beautiful hotel in Waikiki. We had a room on the top floor which overlooked the whole town. Was a wonderful way to end the trip.

I think my fave moment of the trip was our actual anniversary. Shaun took me to a beutiful seafood restaurant and we watched the full moon come up over the island.
And the restarant made us a special cake! Something I always like!

Pictures to come soon!

reality TV

2006-06-28T14:03:00.000-07:00

After many years of thinking about it, I have decided there is not a reality tv show which I could participate in. Yes, I know this is a stupid thing to think about... but every now and then I get sucked into watching some reality show, and get excited thinking about what I would do if i were in those people's posistion. Which is the appeal of watching such shows I guess. For a while I thought I could only be in the Real World, because you don't have to compete on that show....but alas, I know think I am too old. Shaun really likes the Amazing Race. It really does look fun, to travel to all those places and get to do intersting things. But I am not very speedy. And I am not good at living out of one bag. So there goes that idea. I could never be on a show like Survivor or Fear Factor (or whatever that is called) because I would give up instantly. No way, no how will I ever be in another relay race... I hated them as a kid. And I think that is all Survivor really is.
So it is a kind of sad conclusion. I am not dynamic or competitve enough for TV nowadays. Oh well.
(And if anyone suggests that I go on The Biggest Looser or the Swan, I will come to your house and slap you upside the head!!!!!)

updates

2006-06-12T12:22:00.000-07:00

Sorry, no posting from me in a while. Things have been pretty darn busy up here in the bay area. Shaun were out of town for a few weekends... on Memorial Day we went down south to visit my family. Last weekend we went to Virginia City, Nevada to celebrate his b-day. Both weekends were very fun, and we truly needed to get away.
Other than that, life is about the same. Shaun's mom has been terrorizing our lives. Lots of horrid expereinces have happened, many of which have invovled the police. She has been kicked out of a hotel and people's homes. She is as crazy and mean as ever. I will spare the details here. I do not need to remind myself of the torture.
She may be getting into assisted living soon. She is meeting with an administrator today, who told her she will be able to pick out her rooom. Hopefully this will work out.
Life for the past four months has kind of revolved around her and has been one emergency after another. Things have been rough. We are trying to pull away from her, but is not easy as she is manipulative, and giving in to her can be easier than listening to her.
And no, this is not the life I had envisioned for myself, so things need to be changing soon.
Summer is setting in here. It is foggy and cold and I hate it. I am depressed every morning that I wake up to dense dense fog.

I cannot live here forever.

sign, sealed, delivered

2006-05-17T11:20:00.000-07:00

As of today, I am officially done with my thesis.
Signed and approved by my thesis advisors and the graduate division.
Turned into the Library to be bound.
Take it to the bank, and call me Suzanne, M.A. !!!!!!!!!

rejuvenation

2006-04-30T19:29:00.000-07:00

After a couple of really rough weeks, Shaun and I finally found some time to ourselves. On Saturday we were able to do a few wine tastings in our own neighborhood! How quaint! There are about 30 wineries in he Santa Cruz mountain area, most wineries specializing in Pinot Noir, like the wineries around Santa Barbara. The first place we visited was the Thomas Fogerty Winery & Vineyard located about 15 miles south of us in a beautiful redwood forest. The grounds were absolutely gorgeous, with swans and fabulous views of the peninsula. It was slightly foggy, but even with the fog it was lovely. The wines however were very very expensive. Of corse they were delicious, but who can really afford a 68 dollar bottle of wine?

The next winery was the Obester Winery in Half Moon Bay. We got there right before they closed, and I think the people working were sufficiently buzzed. They were very heavy handed. The winery was far more down to earth and homey than Fogarty, and by far more comfortable for the novice wine drinker There wines were less expensive and they gave us great deals on bottles. There was even boca ball in back for anyone who wanted to join in!

Today, after a bar-b-que lunch at church, Shaun and I had a "pleasant" hike in Pacifica. We are finally having some nice weather, and we decided to partake in some of the sights in our own town. Of course I fell on some slippery slopes. And hurt my hands. But overall, it was splendid!

Like I said, things have been pretty awful lately though. Shaun's mom and her problems have been really exhausting. And both of us have been in a grumpy funk. We've had to make a lot of tough decisions, and things really don't seem to be getting better.

We are really looking forward our Hawaii trip in July.

OMG!!!!!!!

2006-04-20T16:33:00.000-07:00

Taken from a(n) (almost) reliable source....

Lance Bass and his new boyfriend, Reichen,(winner of The Amazing Race) are in love and
parading their newfound relationship across the country - and abroad!

The happy couple recently went on a romantic holiday together in Mexico,
and they were also just spotted last week in Nashville.

Now, a source close to Reichen and Lance tells PerezHilton.com
exclusively that the twosome is planning - as of the time of this
posting - to go on another intimate getaway together.

"Lance & Reichen are planning to go to [homo hotspot] Palm Springs
together this weekend," reveals our source.

If they decide to change their plans, they should head on over to Vegas
for Hayden Christensen's birthday!

P.S. Out of respect for their privacy and security - and because we are
not evil - we did not mention where Lance & Reichen will be staying in
Palm Springs this weekend. But, PS is not a huge city. If you pop on
over, you're bound to run into them at one of the local sex clubs or
something.

Kir, this is why he never went for you!

Easter Sunday

2006-04-15T09:50:00.000-07:00

I feel slightly guilty, and not very Christian like. I don't want to spend Easter with Shaun's mom. And we aren't. We had debated telling her lies like, we don't feel good, we are going to spend all day in church etc... but decided it wasn't such a good idea to use church in a lie. So we are going to tell her the truth. We are tired! And need some time together to relax! We will not be going to her hotel room to see her on Easter. Am I truly a nasty person for leaving a blind women alone on a holiday? Probably... but the truth is, Tuesday and Wednesday nights of this week were spent with her and were truly agonizing and torturous. She also crossed a line for me and I am extremely mad at her. On Tuesday night she wanted to switch hotels, so we took her to a cheap motel. We should have known better, because the next day she called Shaun letting us know she couldn't stay there and that she wanted to move to a motel in our little town of Pacifica. This would be crossing a big boundary line for us, because in the past this is kind of how she weasels her way into our house. Right now she knows she is not invited into our home (even for dinner or something) until she is in a stable place of her own and is seeking counseling or support of some kind. We refused to take her to a motel in Pacifica, so instead we made reservations at the extended stay hotel she had previously been at. She agreed to this over the phone, but once in our car on the way over, it was a different story. She threw a tantrum. It was awful. She was mean, abusive, insulting, refused to go, and finally jumped out of our moving car into traffic. It was really awful and I cannot believe she treated us that way and could be so completely irrational and dangerous. There was a cop nearby giving someone a ticket and I had to go get him for assistance with her because she was so crazy and upset and. Thanks to the cop, we took her to a different hotel eventually and went home. She barely apologized, saying only "sorry for getting so worked up." But really I will refuse to help her if she is dangerous to herself and does not care if she puts us in such a position. I believe it is true honest to goodness abuse and we feel so used.

So this is why I will not spend Easter with this women. Yesterday and today we are looking at short term apartments for her. And we will probably have to move a bunch of her crap during next week and next weekend. We are both exhausted and overwhelmed with her, and our patience is running thin.

Does anyone really blame us for trying to take a day for ourselves?

taking its toll

2006-04-12T08:41:00.000-07:00

So I think Shaun and I have hit our first rough pathch in our marriage. And guess why? Yes it is because of his mom. Things have gotten a tough over the past couple of weeks. She had been staying with a friend, but got kicked out of that lady's house, and recently has been staying in an extended stay hotel. However, funds are drying up and by Tuesday of next week she needs to be in a less expensive place. She has about 6 - 8 weeks left before she will be in the assistated living center. So we need to find her a cheap place to stay in the meantime. Which is virtually impossible, because everything that is available around here takes a lease. There is no real money for a deposit. And I am mad at Shaun because I really do not want to help her out finacially as the only money we have I have been saving saving saving for our vacation. Really though, we have been working hard and have so been deglecting ourselves that we have become unsuportive and really uncaring towards each other. After his mom, there is just no time left to do things like clean, change the oil in the car, or sleep. We have had some miscommunication lately that has caused some problems, and the truth is, I dont really care. Like I don't. We work so hard all the time for her to destroy things and I am totally sick of having to do every little thing for her.
But then I really dont know of a way out

Madge

2006-04-06T11:52:00.000-07:00

So Madonna tickets have been on sale to those in her fan club. Alas, I am too cheap to join her fan club. But I must must must go see her in concert... so even though I am trying to be conservative with my money, and even though I have absolutley no time whatsoever, and oh yeah and even though I totally HATE and DESPISE ticketmaster, I will be going out of my way over the next few days attempting to get tickets. Even today, on my lunch I will be walking down to ticketmaster to obtain more information on presales, advance sales, etc. Did I mention that floor tickets are $350 apiece? But really, with ticketmaster, do I even stand a chance of getting those prized floor tickets? (Probably would sell them on ebay anyway and buy cheaper ones.)

Sorry for not updating. Like I said, been super busy. Am trying to get sassyswuzy @ myspace up and running, it is taking forever. Should be great someday.

battle of the buldge

2006-03-15T13:51:00.000-08:00

I am dieting. But I don't seem to be loosing any weight. Which is weird, cuz I have always been able to loose weight if I try. I mean I guess I am not burning enough calories and need to exercise more... but it is really hard when you don't have time to go to a gym. I have been talking walks during my lunch hour and have been doing the stairmaster at night, but I know those two types of exercise really don't burn as much as 40 min on an eliptical. I am eating okay... well my downfall is dinner. During the day I am super good at starving myself. But at night I eat too much... mostly because like I just said, I have been starving myself all day. Even though the food I am intaking is fairly healthy, I should have more portion control. Anyway, I am very frustrated at myself and really don't want to give up any more of my energy than I am already doing. Ugh.

What is even more frustrating is that Shaun's mom is once again anerexic. I suppose once you have anerexia you always have it. But for a while she was in remission... and now she is back in full swing. She probably weighs about 100lbs rignt now (and she is 5'8") Of course, she swears she is eating "three meals a day." This statement is not at all believable.

No doubt I would gladly trade her 25 of my pounds.

I will continue trying to diet till the end of April. Hopefully I will meet my goal and loose 10. I guess I will just have to be really careful with my fat intake and try and spend more time on that stair master.

How depressing!

Oscars 06

2006-03-06T09:07:00.000-08:00

So of course I watched the oscars. And honestly, they were apalling. Either the voters are senile or are smoking crack. How in the world did "it's hard out here for a pimp" win an oscar? Now don't get me wrong, I LOVED Hustle and Flow... but really, the song was a little.. well... funny. Also, I don't really think it is a very good song, it was good in the movie but only because it was supported by so much story... you really didn't have to listen to the whole thing at once. And I think Terrence Howard sounded better singing it in the movie. Oh, an um, interpretive dance? To every song nominated? Except of course for Dolly. Who should have won, hands down.

Moving on. George Clooney??????!!!!?????? Reese Witherspoon got a lot of talk about her June Carter role not being much of a stretch for her. But Clooney just acted like he always does, as George Clooney. I just don't get this at all.

Next on my list is Phillip Seymore Hoffman. Yes he is a fabulous actor. Really one of the best out there. However, I didn't see Capote, but just watching the clips I can tell I would be very very very annoyed hearing that voice for two hours. Don't know if he should have won this one either.

And finally, Crash. I know Hillary really liked this film. I however did not. And I'll tell you why. It was obvious and predictable. It was cleary a movie about racism in LA made for a white audience. (If this were a movie for a black audience I doubt that a black woman would have been molested in such a way. The writer/dierctor also wrote Million Dollar Baby, so obviously he has a thang for torturing women. Just what Hollywood needs!) I doubt this film will be remembered for anything much other than winning an oscar. Boyz in da Hood was a much much better example of race relations in Los Angeles. Also I personally didn't get Matt Dillon's character. He portrayed his character to act like a stereotypical version of a New York cop. Hello! Welcome to LA. I think the only reason it won is because Hollywood is still conservative. The voters feel good about their pick because it dealt with racism. Although I feel in a very shabby, easy, and somewhat insulting kind of way. Brockback Mountain was still, I'm guessing, too controversial. What a shame.

welcome wilhelmina!

2006-03-05T00:06:00.000-08:00

Meet the newest member of our household!

We will call her Willie for short.

List of things from Hillary

2006-03-01T14:47:00.000-08:00

How well do you know me??

For instance, did you know...

Four jobs you have had in your life:
1. Sandwich Artist
2. Admin Assistant
3. Teaching Associate
4. DLG Dinning Commons Slave

Four movies you would watch over and over:
1. Buffy the Vampire Slayer (yes, the actual movie with Kristy Swanson)
2. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
3. Harold and Kumar Go To Whitecastle
4. Some Like it Hot/Little Women/Psycho/The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence/Carrie

Four places you have lived:
1. Long Beach CA
2. Goleta CA
3. San Francisco CA
4. Pacifica CA

Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. American Idol
2. The Real World
3. Laguna Beach (AKA The “real” Orange County)
4. The (“fake”) OC

Four places you have been on vacation:
1. Nashville
2. Hawaii (various islands)
3. Las Vegas
4. San Diego

Four websites I visit daily:
1. www.imdb.com
2. www.worldofwonder.net
3. http://realworldroadrules.blogspot.com/
4. www.evedaughter.blogspot.com

Four of my favorite foods:
1. large burritos with lots of rice beans cheese and lime
2. salt and vinegar chips
3. chips n salsa
4. most things containing chocolate

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. at home watching Academy Award nominated films
2. at the SPCA adopting our new cat
3. Hawaii
4. So Cal

too soon to go

2006-02-22T09:21:00.000-08:00

Last night Shaun came home from work and found Shammy, his fave cat in the world, dead in front of the TV.

It was very unexpected, he showed no signs of feeling ill, but we think his love of chewing on plastic finally got the best of him.

We took him last night to be cremated.

Needless to say, it is a very sad time in the Stroosma-Griffith household.

RIP Shammy the kitty.

updates

2006-02-13T10:37:00.000-08:00

So it has been a while since I have posted. I have just been so busy! I have even been meaning for about the last three months to switch to myspac.com but haven't been able to get online to do it. Blogger.com is going to have to suffice for the time being.
Over the entire course of January Shaun and I had to pack up all of his mother's belongings in Sacramento and move them to a storage facility near Palo Alto. It was exhausting! And I didn't even do the majority of the heavy lifting. But all of her stuff is now moved. Which is great.
What is not great however, is that soon she is coming out here. She has been staying with her mother, but her mother wants her out. Her trip out her does seem to get delayed... such as she was suppose to be arriving this weekend, but she was delayed. When she finally does get her, she will be staying at an extended stay hotel in Palo Alto. She could be there for a while, as she is on a waiting list for an assisted living center. Our best guess is that it will take at least three months for her to get into the center. WHICH IS AWFUL cuz she is as nutty as ever. She sent us a journal last week that was litterally full of paranoia and death. So for sure I am beting she will try and committ suicide while she is in the hotel room, OR put herself in some sort of compromised posistion were she will be physically hurt by someone else.
Good times.
Anyway, the new car is great. It is nice to finally have a reliable car that doesn't smell like mildew. Shaun's old car had a leaky trunk... which was kind of toxic.
Next weekend we will be down in long beach, and I am hopding to get some R&R in.
Other things that are new include me being obsessed with award show season... me attempting to start a diet at the beginning of March (I plan on buying a "step" while down in Long Beach at Wal-Mart) because of a wedding I think we are going to in April...(I guess I am now a yo-yo dieter... throughout the year I seem to play around with about 15 pounds)... and Shaun has already been promoted at his new job! Yeah him!
Well that is all for now... back to work!

Stylin!

2006-01-26T22:02:00.000-08:00

Shall we name our new car "neo" or "the one"?

busy bee

2006-01-20T09:43:00.000-08:00

The last few weeks have been unexpectedly busy. Last weekend Shaun and I drove out to Sacramento to pack up his mother's belongings. It is unbelievable that a person who moves every year has so many dang knick-knacks. Boxes and Boxes of them. It is weird to go through someone's stuff. I am assuming that a lot of it needs to be thrown away, but she actaually hasn't packed up her stuff for the past five years. She always gets someone else to back it up. So those bottles of wood cleaner and old toothpaste just keep on getting boxed up.

On the drive back to the city, Shaun's clutch went out. It really sucked! AAA had to tow us to the nearest garage, and we had to spend the night with a friend of mine who lives far far away from San Francisco. His car was fixed, but now we are in the market for a new car finally. We are meeting with a credit union this weekend to take out a loan. It is kinda exciting, I suppose, but we just have so much to do. We have to meet with his mother's future assisted living center, get a storage facitlity for the time being, rent a moving truck, meet with the credit union, go to the laundry-mat, and go back to Sacramento to finish packing her stuff. I really look forward to lazy weekends where we can go for a hike or explore our neighborhood. We have lived in this apartment for four months and know little to nothing about Pacifica. Someday we even hope to join a gym. (But really, who has time for that?)

Watched the golden globes the other night. No real surprizes. I haven't seen many of these movies but I seriously can hardly wait to see brokeback mountain. I have literally read everything about the movie! and I am just so excited to see the union of heath and jake! I really love the commercials for the film. The ones that make it out to be a nice cowboy movie about herding cattle and domestic family life.

Fianlly saw Walk the Line. Thought it was pretty good actually. I like the film a lot more than Ray, but thought Jamie Foxx's performance as Ray Charles was better than both Reese and Joaquin. Actually I don't think this is Reees's best performance, and not so sure about her winning an Oscar for this. No doubt she was good. But don't think this film was much of a stretch for her. She is playing a quirky southern lass, and that is pretty much what she is. This is probably the performance of Joaquin's life. As he really isn't much of an actor. He has never been better.. but then again this isn't saying that much.

sicko

2006-01-09T13:53:00.000-08:00

Had an uneventful weekend... well, I was sick.. but I still managed to do the laundry and the grocery shopping. Didn't go to work today, and instead forced myself to go to Shaun's doctor. This kinda sucked because I am in-between insurance carriers. I supposedly have blue cross, but don't have a card yet. So I had to shell out about $170 dollars for a doctor's appointment and meds. I am told I will be able to file and claim and get this money back. Anyway, I picked up strep throat, a sinus infection and pink eye from the New Year's Party in Santa Cruz. I am suppose to stay home till Thursday because of the highly contagious pink eye. Doubt that I will be able to stay home that long. I don't really like staying home when I know I'm suppose to be at work. It seems like I am playing hooky even though I am rightfully sick, and I'm sure others at work would not want to catch what I've got.

Also don't like going to the doctor because Shaun's doc is super hot. HOT. Going in there with in infected eye, unwashed hair, and no voice is slightly embarrassing. I would much rather have a woman doctor or an old doctor.

Watched three movies this weekend. Grizzly Man, The 40 Year Old Virgin, and American Pie: Band-camp. Grizzly Man is a documentary about a very looney guy who chose to live among Alaska's grizzly bears. He felt he was the protector of these animals and that they were misunderstood creatures. He thought the bears had a bad rep, that they wouldn't hurt a human if the human could respect them. He, of course, was eventually killed and eaten by one of them. The Documentary itself seems to be less about the bears and more about a very unhealthy person who has serious social anxiety. It was easier for him to live with huge bears than have to get along with humans. This guy in essence was an idiot. He thought he understood ecology better than anyone else, when really he wasn't able to grasp the natural instinct of a hungry bear.

The 40 Year Old Virgin was good. Not as good as I had hoped. But funny enough. And yes the funniest scene in the movie was the chest waxing scene.

American Band-camp was a straight to video pick. I kinda liked it. Hey, I know I have bad taste. But I laughed a lot. It was raunchy as ever, and lacked the original characters, but still some very funny parts. Given it's limited release status, I give it 3.5 stars.

Well my pink eye is limiting my vision. Time to sign off.

more random things

2006-01-05T08:39:00.000-08:00

To update quickly on my life, I will continue to the list.

3. Shaun has been hired by the dream company he wanted to work for!
4. The company is called Monster cable, he starts Jan 9, and he will be technical support.
5. It should be a good company for him to grow with.
6. We may now have to attend 49er games because they own the 49er park/field.
7. I actually watched a football game last night... the rose bowl. I guess it was ininteresting... but USC did not win! Boo!
8. The holidays were actually fun! We spent time with my family down in Long Beach over Christmas and went to Santa Cruz for New Years.
9. In Santa Cruz we spent the night at Clays. We brought sleeping bags. Clay's floor really smells very bad.
10. For Christmas I received a new rain jacket. I needed one, as it has been raining for a month in San Fran. YUCKO.
11. I need to drop 10 -15lbs. But I don't want to diet and have little to no time to exercise.
12. I wish I could own an eliptical like Hillary.
13. Right now I'm at work.
14. I never never never check my email anymore. So probably the best way to contact me is thru text messaging or my cell phone.
15. But I also never pick up my cell phone, so please leave a message and maybe I will get back to you.
16. I really love texting though.
17. I hope Hillary comes out to visit.
18. I would like to see Kirsten sometime soon.
19. Don't even get me started on how much I would love to see the Antelope Valley.
20. I am sick with a cold and am taking "Wal-borne"... that is the Walgreen's version of "airborne"... it tastes sooooooooooo much better than "emergen-c"

Well I guess that is 20...fianlly it is over...
later dawgs

20 Random Things

2005-12-14T11:44:00.000-08:00

oh how random...
from Hillary...

1. I have been eating loads of crap this month. Around every corner seems to be lurking cookies and candies. This job has not been good for my waistline! I vow to diet sometime during the spirng!

2. Since Septemeber I have been obsessed with a writer by the name of James St. James. (Granted, I go through obsessions quite often... does anyone remember my college years?) He is not very prolific, as he has only written one book. But he is a contributing writer for an online blog/celebrity gossip page I read just about everyday. His own personal blog is HILLARIOUS. Almost best on the web in my opinion... well you know, after Hillary's and Kirsten's blogs of course. I believe James St. James is my film soul mate. Here is an exmaple of a film review of his...

I just went to see Syriana, which was a surprising thing for me to do. I went because Entertainment Weekly convinced me it was a BIG. IMPORTANT. MOVIE. You know it's a BIG. IMPORTANT. MOVIE. because there are 72 plotlines and George Clooney is fat and worried looking. Also because it looks like it was shot on a cellphone and all the color has been drained from the film. I'm sort of an idiot, so I couldn't really follow all of the plotlines, but this is what I was able to glean from it: BLAH BLAH BLAH cute Muslim boys BLAH BLAH BLAH oil is important BLAH BLAH BLAH Matt Damon's nose BLAH BLAH BLAH George Clooney has some fingernail problems. OH, and let's see... I figured out Jeffrey Wright was in over his head in Washington because he didn't use a half-Windsor knot on his ties like the other guys.

It didn't really matter if you got what was going on or not, though, because if you sat still for three minutes, a new plot would start in a new country, and maybe you'd get THAT one. The best storyline was the one where Matt Damon had to chose between his wife (played by Amanda Peet or maybe Maria Shriver) and his hot new boyfriend, the Prince of Katscanistan (see above). As if that was a choice. The most boring storyline was Jeffrey Wright's, and that's a shame because this was his first time getting above-the-title billing (which I'm sure his agent REALLY LOBBIED HARD for) and everyone walked away from it thinking what a pudgy little bore he was and how we all hope that he goes back to playing faggots on Broadway SOON.

But don't get me wrong – this is a positive review. Go see it.

– James St. James

Now doesn't that just sound like me?

You can check him out at www.worldofwonder.net

Well my first two random things are done.... 18 more to go

holidays

2005-12-05T17:11:00.000-08:00

the holidays are pressing upon me once again... and of course that means that shaun and i are suppose to do something excrutiatingly painful for his mother. somehow we were cornered into paying both her nov. and dec rent... i don't even feel like explaining.. but it goes something like this.... she swore to shaun she paid her rent... property management called us informing us that she didn't... she then swore up and down that her neighbors must have access to her bank accounts and stole her money... (yes she is delusional and paranaoid...)and then shaun checks her accounts, and she actually spent her rent money. don't you all just love that?

We are also cornered into spending my christmas vacation moving all of her crap from the sacramento aparment to a new aparment..somewhere... well, we have to find it. Her friend's who are paying for the move, would like her to move closer to us. How nice are they? Will even supplement her income so that she can afford to live in the bay area. So freakin thoughtful. oh man does this suck.

We are vowing to be tougher in the future, that this is the last time we will move her, and that we will help her. We will not talk to her unless she pursues treatment.

Oh, I can only hope that she goes to Michigan for the holidays. If I have to be around her during all of this, I might actually blow. And if I blow, she will never let me live it down. I will traumatize her forever.

Shaun is still waiting to hear about the new job. Pray that this job works out... it would be a great career opportunity.

hiphiphoorray!

2005-11-28T16:06:00.000-08:00

There is a very good chance that Shaun got a dream job at a dream company of his... no not MAC, Nintendo,or Lucas Film... but a San Fran company called Monster cable. Keep those prayers and thoughts coming though... it is still not 100%.

Also is anyone else devasted by the breakup of Nic and Jessica? They should have never stopped making that show! I'm sure they'd still be together!
Will Brit and K-fed outlast them?
So many questions.....

My two cents.

2005-11-19T18:55:00.001-08:00

Ok, so I am not the biggest Harry Potter fan. Never read any of the books.... have only seen the movies. However, I was really excited to see the new movie that came out on Friday. Why was I excited you might wonder? Well, two reasons. One, I actually totally liked Harry Potter 3. The director, Alfonso Cuaron, made the movie awesome! Suspenseful, dark, and spooky. The way witches should be. He made the movie tolerable for adults. I mean that scene on the train, where everything slowly freezes over... I mean it was soooo cinematic! Whereas the previous two movies got caught up in a lot of dialog, Cuaron relied much much more on the visual... and it was so much more intriguing. Okay, and the second reason I was soooooooooooo excited to see the 4th film... the teaming up of Ralph Fiennes and Gary Oldman in one movie! Two great (HOTTT) British actors in one movie! How much better could it get?

Well, much to my dismay, like the first two Harry Potter films, the fourth (directed by Mike Newell) had far too much dialog for my taste. I actually cared about the characters less because of how character driven the movie was. This movie didn't entertain my senses as much as the third. Less mystery, less suspense, less visceral. If JK Rowling reads people's blogs... and happens upon this one...please please please fire Mike Newell from directing the 5th movie and bring back Cuaron!

Oh, and then... um.... Gary Oldman was in the 157 min long movie for approximately two min. And um, his face was barely visible, because he took the form of embers in a fire. WHAT A DISAPPOINTMENT! Then... my fave person in the world... Ralph Fiennes... why the heck did his nose look like Michael Jackson's? So not cute. He looked far better in Red Dragon... and in that movie he was suppose to be ugly!

So my advice, unless you love the book, avoid this film. If you are a tad bit interested in all the hoopla regarding Harry Potter, just rent Harry Potter 3.

Also, while waiting to get into the theater we saw a very large women with many children. I knew she must be a very big fan because she was wearing a hooded cape, I suppose, to emulate the other witches and wizards in the books. However, unlike Harry Potter, her cape was white. I found it rather inappropriate. A white hooded cape?!?!?! Yikes... I thought people in California thought before dressing themselves.

In other news, this past week I received a message on my home machine that I won a prize in a contest I had entered back in July. Thinking it was a car, I was completely excited. However, before winning the prize, Shaun and I had to attend a presentation on timeshares. This was not our first experience with timeshares... we went to a demonstration in Vegas.... and in doing so we received a free dinner and show tickets. So because I do like free stuff, we went. Although we didn't buy a time share, nor did we win a car, we did receive two free trips... one to Lake Tahoe and one to Vegas. And then we bought two trips, one to Vegas and one to Hawaii. The price was very reasonable. And since he and I usually avoid commitment like it is the plague, we thought it would be a good idea to actually plan a trip... since we very rarely have ever gone anywhere together.

I can't wait for our Hawaiian vacation!!!!

Also, I would like to know what other's thought of Harry Potter. I think I opened up my blog to comments once again. So please, if you have seen it and agree or disagree with me... I want to hear about it!

somewhat... DONE!

2005-11-14T17:28:00.000-08:00

Will be sending off my thesis to my advisor and other commitee member on Tuesday morning. It would have been out today, expect for I realized last night about 10:30, that I did not own any envelopes. Don't that put a damper on things...
So for real, I am brain dead.
It has been a boring boring last copule of weekends.
Next weekend I plan on going shopping to get me out of this mind numbing boring phase that has been my life for the past four weeks.

Of course not sure if I met the appropriate deadlines. If my advisor and commitee memeber hate the thesis, writing this thing could drag out till next semester.
YUCKO!
I have until Dec 9th to file an approved thesis.
So pray they either like it or don't care!!!!!!!!!

time change

2005-11-08T17:35:00.000-08:00

I am not a huge fan of having time changes. Even though I should celebrate any day where I receive one more hour that allows me more sleep. I hate this time of year. HATE HATE HATE. Yes violently I hate short days. I even look forward to Dec. 22 because I know the hump is over, the shortest day of the year has passed and summer will soon be on its way.
I must say though working in the city is rather exciting at night because people actually "bustle." They carry packages and wear long coats, and the lights from the buildings glow, and sometimes there are good smells of food in the air... (well, often the city smells like a homeless person too...)The financial district should be even more exciting as Christmas approaches... and the decorations at all the big stores go up.
I am glad a took a job downtown, it puts me in a better mood than working at SFSU in the fog belt.
I like my new aparment too... even though it is not as nice as my old one, and doesn't have the same character... it is more cozy. We get slighty nicer weather too.
The next few weeks are going to be difficult. We have to find Shaun's mom an apartment and Shaun needs to find a job.
Please pray for us!

ewh!

2005-11-02T09:21:00.000-08:00

One of the many reasons why there is a need for women's studies.
From the IMDB today:

Allen Likes Playing Father to His Wife

Acclaimed director Woody Allen loves the paternal feelings he has towards his young wife Soon-Yi Previn, and insists the massive age gap between them defuses any conflict in their marriage. The 69-year-old sparked an international scandal when he split up with his long-term partner Mia Farrow in 1992 after falling for her adopted daughter. Allen later married Previn, 35, and the couple have two children. Yet, the Manhattan filmmaker is unabashed when he admits that his relationship with Previn is paternal and he enjoys the power his successful life gives him in their relationship. He says, "(Our marriage) has a more paternal feeling to it... I love to do things to make her happy. She loves to do things to make me happy." Despite the controversy it caused, Allen has come to view Farrow's discovery of his nude photographs of Previn as "one of the great pieces of luck in my life". He adds, "All the women I went out with were basically my age. Now, here, it just works like magic. The very inequality of me being older and much more accomplished, much more experienced, takes away any real meaningful conflict."

Now doesn't that make you feel good to be a woman?

I really can't ever see a Woody Allen film because of how disgusting of a person he is.
Hey, called me biased if you want!

Happy Halloween

2005-10-31T16:32:00.000-08:00

For checking out the haunts in your California Digs, take a look at this site. It is a great index of all Califonia cities and towns identifying each of their haunted places.
For those of you who like Disneyland, or who have least been there multiple times, I would reccommend scrolling down to the "D" section and checking it out!

http://theshadowlands.net/places/california1.htm

I live right next to this intersection!

Daly City - San Mateo -intersection of Skylin blvd and Hickey blvd - There are stories that a lady in white is seen at the intersection in their view mirrors when foggy.

Yes I knew this before I moved in, and I still chose to live here! I even know someone who has seen this ghost

Mommie Dearest

2005-10-29T13:52:00.000-07:00

Have had a pretty tough week. Shaun's mother had her last "emergency" about four - five months ago, right around the time we were getting married... so with the holidays approaching and all, it is for sure time for another. For a least a month or so she has been complaining about her neighbors in Sacramento. That her neighbors are trying to stalk her, that they are trying to harm her and Keith, that they are spraying poisenous fumes in through the windows, that they are trying to electrocute her... ect ect. More and more crazy stuff. So last month while we were in the dead middle of moving she leaves her apartment and takes the train to Oakland and asks Shaun to pick her up. She simply is too afraid to stay in Sacramento. Shaun refuses, and we don't hear from her until now. I guess after Shaun decided not to pick her up, she randomly got on a train to Seattle (she thought someone was following her, and this was what she did to escape him) and in Seattle stayed in a homeless shelter, where homeless men repeatedly blew herion in her face. Or at least this is what she told Shaun this week. After that she took the train to a friend of hers in Carson City (a lady who is her in 80s by the way) and basically went crazy there. Stopped feeding Keith, would lay on the middle of the floor all day and night, would rearrange this lady's furniture. We even got phone calls last week from her family suggesting to Shaun that we all get together to committ her. However, Shaun feels that it would be a waste of time because Diane does not want help, and nothing would come of hospitalizing her. This week she headed back to Sacramento because a friend of hers was coming out to visit. Once the friend arrives, (oh, and this friend of hers is also blind), the go out for a walk, and both are convinced that they are being followed. So once again this Thursday Shaun gets a phone call that both of them are in Oakland, and could he come and pick them up. Shaun turns off his phone, and does not go a pick them up. So as of right now, we do know that they are staying in San Francisco, that both are heading out to Utah in the next few days, where Diane will stay with a friend until about Thanksgiving.

This has all been pretty scary. I hate when these things happen so much because it can become so overwhelming. If we gave Diane even a tiny bit of help, she would probably be staying with us in no time. And Diane can be dangerous around us. She has so many problems with Shaun that even though she really wants him to save her, being around him makes her even more self destructive. She becomes, I believe dangerous and threatening to both herself and us. In some ways we have learned how to say no to her in crisis situations, when we know she is on a downward spiral.

Some of the good news... her friends who usually finacially support her have negotiated with her. They will not help her unless she gets counseling. Shaun is also a part of this agreement. They will not be giving her money anymore, but giving him the money to find her a new aparment. Of course this also means we have to find her a friggin new apartment, and try and break her old lease! UGH UGH UGH! As if we don't have enough of our plate already. Shaun needs to be looking for a job after all. And I need to finish my thesis!

Now this could work out though... Shaun's mom's gudie dog Keith is set to be retired from being a guide in the next few weeks. Diane is scheduled to get a new dog over thanksgiving weekend. She stays with Guide Dogs of America for three weekes training with a new dog. So this does get her away from us, so that we can comfortably find an aparment for her without her staying with us, or having to deal with her. And I think we could do all of this... all of the moving over thanksgiving weekend. You, know, which will be our first days off together in months. And it is SOOOOO much fun to move.

Oh and we are not even upacked ouselves. All of our stuff in still in boxes. Over thanksgiving weekend, I was really planning on working with Shaun to get our aparment organized. We have no time together right now to do it. Or I was planning on us (if Shaun is employed at the time) escaping to a cozy B&B over the holdiay weekend. Oh well I guess.

Sometimes I hate my life.

But in other news, I have recieved lots of compliments on my hair... so I guess I'm still somewhat cute!

Oh, and if anyone who is reading this is worried about me, please don't I am just totally complaining... actually I am pretty satisfied in my life right now... our cable provider actually airs Country Music TV! Yes!

For reals though

2005-10-23T14:04:00.000-07:00

So I am finally taking time to write a real entry. Shaun and I are into the new apartment. The move went okay. I mean I wish I could have been off from work to supervise the men who were moving all the stuff... but I wasn't. All the stuff did get moved though, and made it to the new apartment on time. Some things went a little haywire in the move. Such as I don't know what my father was thinking when he decided to pack an old toliet bowl brush in one of my drawers, and also put in the drawer Shaun's toothbrush, hairbrush, and other grooming supplies. (nothing was wrapped in a plastic bag either.) But we are here and I guess that is what counts. We still have a lot of stuff to unpack. I guess we are just majorly lazy, because we still have boxes everywhere. I have to say though, organizing an aparmtnet for two is difficult when you are never home together. Shaun and I have completely opposite schedules. It is really awful. Litterally I leave the house before 8am, and he doesn't get home till like 10:30 at night. Leaving us about an hour together before I should be asleep in bed. He works weekends, and those are my days off. I have no idea what the new town Pacifica really is like, because we have no time to explore it together and I am still car-less. Also trying to plan a trip to like home-depot together is really hard. I am hoping that by thanksgiving we make it there. I know I am just griping. There could be a lot worse going on. And anyway, he is looking for a new job... I am thinking that the whole store closing is really a blessing in diguise.

I am sick again also. I have now been sick for three months in a row. This happned to me last fall also. I was always sick. I don't know why. I take pretty good care of myself. Drink lots of water take all my vitamins... I sleep a lot on weekends and not that much during the week. I am blaming puclic transporation for this one though. The BART (bay are rapid transportation) is just a cesspool of germs.

Today I will start tackling the old thesis. My goal was to have it done by October, but now I am shooting for the first week of November. I know I don't have much to do on it, but I haven't talked to my advisor since lat spring. It will be hard to meet with her also because I don't get off work till 6pm and taking time off right now is out of the question. Please pray that I get this thing done. I am lacking motivation... and have no time to meet with my advisor.

Yesterday I had my hair cut. Usually I don't get my hair done up in San Fran because it is too expensive. However, my hair was getting out of hand. So I made a trip to the local mall and had it done. I am no longer sure if I am cute anymore. It seems okay, and fortunatly my hair is curly, which can allow for mistakes. But I defnitly miss my hair girl Jesse!

no time

2005-10-12T12:41:00.000-07:00

It is a sad sad day when I no longer have enough time in my schedule to watch movies. Shaun and I are having to cancel our netflix subscription. We are just never home at the same time. Our schedules are a bit griding. I must say, I will be happy when he finds another job.
In the meantime though, I will just have to watch E! to know what is going on in the world of cinema. (Since you know that E! is the by far the best resource when it comes to world cinema... haha)
Some day I'll actually write a long entry to update what is actually going on in my life.

if it is not one thing, it's another...

2005-10-05T16:21:00.000-07:00

Shaun's company has been bought out... and he will be looking for a new job over the next 60 days. We were sooooo close to being finacially well off too! I think he will be able to find something... probably even a better job than what he is currently doing... but still it sucks.
Please pray for him!

In other sad news, Dude the cat died on Sunday.

I love dishwashers!

2005-10-03T10:30:00.000-07:00

Except the smell of mine vaguely reminds me of when I use to work in the dining commons at UCSB.

goodbye for a while

2005-09-25T12:16:00.000-07:00

This will probably be my last post for a while. Unitl we get situated in the new apartment... or until I break down and use the internet at work... we will see.

I should be busy packing right now.. but I am procrastinating. There is pleanty to do though. We are moving on Thursday and Friday of this week. On those days I work, so I actually won't be doing much moving myself. My father and brother are coming up to help shaun out. So really I am getting out of it. Which is probably a good thing. Men are good at moving and packing things in. I'm sure I would just get in the way.... (tee hee)

Anyway, I should though pack up my clothes today. Yesterday, I did my desk. It tooooooook fooooooreevvvveer. From here on out I am shredding my credit card statements right away, instead of letting years of them stack up in my desk.

In other news I have been grotequesly sick. Full of snot. It was really bad at work.. and I think I infected many co-workers. But there was nothing I could do. I don't get paid sick leave until after a three month probationary period.

Shaun's mom is going whacky again. She thinks her new neighbors are out to get her. That they follow her, spy on her at night, and try to electrocute her. Shaun is currently not talking to her until she discusses it with her landlord. We don't know what has caused her to become paranoid all of a sudden though. We are wondering if our move has triggered something in her... or maybe her guide dog keith because he is getting very old and needs to be retired. Of course, me the daughter-in-law fears that she wants to live with us now that we have a two-bedroom... and will do whatever it takes to convince us to let her in!

a new crib

2005-09-18T12:11:00.000-07:00

So just to let everyone know, Shaun and I will be moving on September 30th. I will send out a new address soon enough... well as soon as I know the exact address.

We are moving out of the city to a town called Pacifica. It is about a five min. drive south of San Franciscco, right on the coast. It is a prett town, but it will still probably be foggy most of the year.

It will be an upgraded aparment though, two bedrooms and a dishwasher. Oh and a pool. In all of the places I have lived, including the house where I grew up I have never had the luxury of a dishwasher. I am very cautious. Do these things actually work? Will I really not have to scrub dishes ever again?

Living here will probably lengthen my commute to and from work. I will have to take a bus to the BART station, and BART will drop me off right by my office. However, the bus will probably take a half an hour each way. Hopefully Shaun will be nice and drive me to the BART station in the mornings.

monotomy

2005-09-16T07:32:00.000-07:00

Only four days on the job and it already feels monotonous. Even though today I have to work on some spreadsheets that, well, um... it is a task I am not really sure how to do. Guess that I shouldn't have fudged about my excel skills.
But my job is pretty boring. I answer a lot of phones and transfer them... and then work on paperwork. The worst WORST thing about this job is that I am soooooo totally not allowed to go online. What is an Administrative Assistant suppose to do in her downtime? I mean, I have really missed out on all this week's hollywood gossip. I am dying to learn about Britney and K-Fed's baby....

some changes round here

2005-09-09T19:15:00.000-07:00

After sending out some resumes on Wednesday, I now have a job as of Friday. I interviewed yesterday at "Higgens Purchasing" (which is a an outfit that does product purchasing and design for very VERY upscale hotels) and they offered me the job today. I also interviewed for the Academy of Art University. (a large private art school in San Francisco.) I thought my interview there went well, but have not heard back from them yet. Higgens is paying me more money than I have ever earned, about a thousand more a month than the job I hoped to get at SFSU. However, I would much rather work for the Academy of Art. It is more my speed and I would have an opportunity to grow there. Also I could work on a MFA in Motion Pictures and Television for free. At Higgens, I was told most people in my posistion last about two years before they move on. At the Academy, the people I talked to started at the same level I interviewed for and now are directors in Administration.

Anyway, I sign my papers on Saturday for Higgens. If the Academy comes through for me, who knows what i'll do.

In other news, Shaun and I are now thinking of not moving. I am going to talk to our leasing office tommorow. If they let us, and cut us a deal, we might stay. As much as we hate paying an excruitiating amount in rent, the location is really good. I will be working in downtown San Francisco's financial district and parking there is simply out of the question. Yesterday we parked there for two hours and it cost us 14 bucks. So even if I had a car, I would have to take Muni to get there anyway. So maybe my whole world isn't changing.

moving on

2005-09-08T09:14:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was my official last day as a part time employee at SFSU. There were no parties or any big to-dos. No one even really said good-bye. Usually when pepole leave there is a party or at least a card invovled. I can no longer work there as an assistant, because I am not taking classes this semester. Do I have a job? No, the full time posistion is still in deliberation in Human Resources. However I talked with my boss yesterday, and he feels the likely hood of getting them to approve me without being in the union is small. I was upset, and have decided to just forget about working for State. Even though I really wanted that job, and found it very fulfilling, I guess working for them is just not in my cards.

I have an interview today in downtown San Francisco for a big ole corporate company. I am nervous and feel I don't look good enough for this job. But I really need to start working. I hate interviews. I come across as having no personality and having no interest in their job either. Shaun keeps giving me tips on what to ask and how to phrase questions, but I just don't know. He is wonderful at interviews. It is depressing because I think the best way to proove myself is to actually let me work... but i guess that didn't work out at San Fran State.

Speaking of moving, we are turning in some applications today for a new apartment. I wanted to move out of the city, but since I still don't know where I'll be working, I need to stay in San Francisco, I don't have a car and will need to take public transportation to work. Really looking forward to two or more years of fog and gloom is almost as depressing as not working.

wilbur?

2005-09-02T14:50:00.000-07:00

Me at the California State Fair.
I think my mom will enjoy this one.
I'll be in So Cal this weekend.

Waiting

2005-08-27T13:17:00.000-07:00

So it is finally sunny in San Francisco. The sun came out on Wednesday... when school at SFSU started. Of course.

I have still not been contacted by human resources in regards to my full time posistion at State. It is very frustrating, as the posistion is set to begin on September 1st. My boss let me know that I was the first candiate for the job, but that human resources could veto his decision if they perfer the second canidate for certain reasons pertaining to union regulations... (sorry I don't want to write about it too much here... you never know who is reading....) However, my boss has not been contacted either... I guess HR would have told him if he had to pick the second canidate. So I am just playing a waiting game... that really sucks... I need to start working full time soon as I must start paying off my student loans! Also not knowing is very depressing. It makes me not want to talk to anyone... and just sit at home feeling like I am tied up in knots.

Anyway, we like Hillary are planning on moving at the end of Septemeber. We are going to start looking at new apartments this week. The goal is to move out of the city to either San Bruno or South San Francisco. We would like to get into a two bedroom for about 1200 a month. I think it is doable. If we can't get a two bedroom, then we at least need a garage... as we have far to much stuff for this aparment and very much need storage.

Also, I plan on getting my own cat once I become a full time worker. I want a female kitten of my own, who will grow up dominate Shammy. I would like her to be white. I hope we can find a two bedroom apartment, so she will have a room to herself while we are gone durning the day. A co-woker of mine had a pregnant cat, but this week, the cat went in for a kitty abortion. I didn't even know these existed! I was a little horrified. I had planned on taking one of his kittens, but now it seems like I will have to shelve out the 60 dollars to adopt one from the SPSCA.

Has anyone seen a disgusting show on MTV called Sweet Sixteen? It is really awful to watch a 16 year old girl threaten her mother if she does not get to go by Dunkin Donuts before school. Then the mother turns around and spends 189,000 dollars on a party for the girl. The show really makes you question certain aspects of capitalism.

summer films

2005-08-22T18:11:00.000-07:00

So it has been a little while since I have written about movies. I haven't seem many movies this summer, well in the theater at least, due to lack of funds... but I have seen quite a number on DVD. Only most of them weren't memorable. So I haven't really been inspired at all to write about them... however, just for the sake of it, I'll leave a few comments here about the movies I have seen recently.

My fave movie of the summer has been Party Monster: The Shockumentary. This is an intense documentary made in 1998. It is about a kid who grew up in the burbs in the 70s and 80s. He drops out of college to moves to New York because he is gay and is in search of a different atmosphere. In New York he kinda becomes involved in a rave/drag-queen scene, and eventually becomes New York's premiere underground party promoter. He of course becomes heavily addicted to an assortment of drugs and is known to do about every single lewd act imaginable during his parties. However, he becomes associated with a very crazy murder. He discusses the murder (which includes him sawing off body parts) very nonchalantly. The story itself is just so incredibly engrossing. I know that in 2003 a drama film was made based on this real life story, and starred Macauly Culkin and Seth Green. I have no desire to see this reincarnation because of how good this documentary was. Just one hell of a story. Highly recommended.
Other movies I have seen this summer include....

Ms. Congeniality 2... which I really liked. How embarrassing is that? In this film the Sandra Bullock character isn't matched up with a guy... which I always appreciate in films.

In Good Company... I really liked this film also. Topher Grace has really found a niche for himself as the awkward nerdy overachiever. He has good comic timing. The dialog in this film is sharp, and the overall film - which is a comedy- is far above par. Again, I would highly recommend this film.

The Diary of a Mad Black Woman. This film was a bit of a trip. I thought it was going to be about a loud mouthed older black lady who is fed up with society treating her bad. That is what the commercials lead you to believe. She is only in the film a total of ten minutes. The film is really about a young black women whose husband is abusive and eventually kicks her out of his home. The films follows her diary as she gets her life together again. The film doesn't even try to be funny. It is totally a drama.... and it has a huge Christian message. I never knew mainstream films could discuss Christianity so openly. Overall though, the film was slow. And I kinda fell asleep at the end.

Dirty Pretty Things... was made I think last year and is a British film. Shaun told me this film was a romance. HA! It really is a very good thriller about a few immigrants in England who become involved in the black market of organ transplanting. Very good film.

Well that is enough of me ranting about movies right now... If anyone has any film recommendations, please leave me a comment or two.

What a week....

2005-08-15T20:58:00.000-07:00

Last week I had a fabulous b-day. Though I was feeling down, Shaun really showed me a great time. On the actual day Shaun took me to get one of my fave breakfast foods, Chinese pork buns, and then we drove to Napa for the day to go wine tasting. Tried a very good Chardonnay, at the Mario Andretti winery... no I am not kidding you... it was the race car driver's ranch and winery. I figured out that it belonged to him far far into the actual tasting and then I was shocked and embarrassed. We had gone there because we had a two for one tasting coupon. Regardless, the grounds were very charming reminiscent of what I am guessing to be Tuscany, the employees were down to earth, and the wine was good. And yes, if you join their wine club, you do get to meet the actual man himself, Mario Andretti. We also visited the VanDerHeyden Winery, owned by a slightly crazy Dutchman who spoke in a very thick accent. For a Tuesday, his tasting room was packed with young punked-out twenty five year olds who were spending a ton of cash. The room was very humble compared to most of the wine tasting rooms in Napa. It seemed liked we were standing in a wooden shack decked out with dutch pride stickers on the wall. However, the man could sell his wine and talked non-stop about it. And when he found out it was my b-day, he gave us a free bottle. So overall, it was a great day. We have some nice wine we are saving for the holidays, or at least until we have special visitors. However, going wine tasting for a day can be really rough on your body. Shaun and I were so tired the next day even though we never really drank all that much.

On Thursday, Shaun took me out again. We drove down to Monterey Bay to go whale watching. It was pretty awesome, even though it was freezing, and there were many many children on the boat. We saw some amazing sights, including two hunchback whales, pods and pods of dolphins, and a pod of blue whales... which blew my mind. I never ever thought I would get to see the largest mammal on earth...and now I have.

In other news, I have finally officially interviewed for the position at my work. I should know by the end of the week if I actually have the job. Everyone in the office wants me to work there, however, my boss is in somewhat of a bind as he might be forced to hire union members over me. Even though I have worked for the university for two years, I have never been in the union, and the two other people who have applied for the job are in the union. If I get this job, it will be a total Godsend, as I really do like working in that office, and find the work somewhat fulfilling. So please pray for me.

I have not put all my eggs in one basket, and have two other interviews on campus this week. The jobs wouldn't be as good though.

humdrum

2005-08-07T09:46:00.000-07:00

People always warn new brides that after the wedding they will be depressed, because the big event is over and all. Truthfully, I am more than a little depressed right now. But I don't think it has much to do with the wedding. I am depressed however, that we are no longer honeymooning, and have had to get back to our real lives of working and cleaning out shammy's litter box. Oh well.

I am just really sick of living in San Francisco. Over the course of the summer we have had maybe one or two half days of sunshine. Every morning I wake up hopeful that it will be sunny, and that I will be able to walk to work with the warmth of the sun beating down on me. And that has not happened once since March or April. This weather is really tough on me. I hate the fog and being cold all the time, it makes me unmotivated and lazy. My skin looses its healthy glow, and I feel down on myself because I am constantly at home in sweats. So for those of you who are having a summer, in which you get to enjoy all of the smells (clorine, honeysuckle, hawaiian tropic) sights and sounds of summer, be thankful. We move out of this apartment at the end of September, and I am hoping it will be to a slightly sunnier place. However, by that time I will have missed all of summer. : (

Have spent the last two thursdays in a row with Shaun's mom. The first week was fairly pleasant enough. We drove to Sacramento (were the temp is at least in the upper 90s, thank god!) to help her unpack. She didn't have much done, and really needed us to get motivated. Her apartment is fairly small and she has a ton of stuff. Trying to figure out where she can keep it all is a bit overwhelming, but do-able. This plast week however, spending time with her was pretty painful. Again, Shaun and I worked pretty hard unpacking her dishes, clothes, knick-knacks, ect. However, at about 5pm she remembers that she needs to call Medi-cal to get her new health insurance card. I remember her saying over and over again on the phone that it was really important that they process her paperwork because she had a very importatant doctor's appointment the next day. I seriously thought she was lying, and that she was telling the operator that so she wouldn't be put on hold or have to leave messages. However, we soon find out that she does indeed have a doctor's appointment in Standford on Friday morning (Standford is about a two hour drive away from Sacramento) that she still needed to figure out how she was going to get there and where she could stay the night. Shaun and I were pretty pissed off. It felt like she was being pretty sneaky about aksing us for help, or that she was afraid to ask us for help and left us with no other option than to cancel our plans. Why didn't she tell us this beforehand? So, a one day visit turned into a very long two day visit full of frustration and impatience.

Other than that, on Tuesday is my b-day. I am finally going to be 25. Wow, my mid twenties is already here.

To quench your pic thirst.

2005-08-01T18:41:00.000-07:00

Whoa!

Yikes!

Huh?

Oh no!

Sorry bout this, but keep scrolling down.

Bountiful Pics!

2005-08-01T18:32:00.000-07:00

Super Cute Pics!

2005-08-01T18:21:00.000-07:00

See Hillary, you aren't the only lucky one!

Hot Pics!

2005-08-01T16:39:00.000-07:00

Ah, the happy couple....

Back!

2005-07-24T15:43:00.000-07:00

So it has been awhile since I have updated... and it is now official... I am now Ms. Suzanne Stroosma. That's right. Married! Getting married is a little a surreal. But on the day I really wasn't nervous or anything. My sister however was freaking out. On the ride to the beach, (the site of the wedding), she seemed really really anxious... worrying about everything.

The ceremony was beautiful.. better than I could have ever expected. I had a goal that day though. No matter what, I didn't want to cry. So I will reveal my secret now. I didn't cry that day, because if at any moment I felt a tear well up, I would think of Ron Jeremey. I am so incredilbly unromantic... I know. I just really didn't want to cry! My makeup was perfect. And since whenever I think of Ron Jeremey I laugh, it was the perfect tactic to keep the tears away. Um, Shaun will never live it down though.

I will post pictures from the ceremony and reception soon.

The reception was a little weird for me. It went by really quickly. I kept feeling like I should be talking to more people. That it was my duty to socialize, and I wasn't accomplishing that. A lot of my dutch relatives weren't there because my Grandma has become increasinly ill. She had a fall 2months ago, and the doctors think that at the same time she had a small stroke, which brought about demetia. So all my dutch relatives have been taking turns taking care of her. She was able to make it the reception... but just for a little bit. And I'm not sure if she knew exactly what was going on. This weekend my family placed her into an assistive living facility. Which is good, my dad will now not have to sit with her all day making sure she doesn't light something on fire. But it is sad too. I can't beleive how quickly her mental facilities have degraded.

After the wedding, Shaun and I went to Las Vegas for six days. It was about 118 degrees there. So we spent a lot of time indoors and took taxi's everywhere. It was very fun though. It was the first time I have been to vegas when I wasn't ready to go after two days. All we really did there was eat A LOT, see shows, gamble, and walk around malls. I would highly reccomend the "Legends in Concert" show. I couldn't believe how good the impersonators were! Totally better than the orginial entertainters! Our hotel rooms were awesome. First we had a suite at the Alladdin. Which by the way, will soon be the Planet Hollywood Hotel. We were told the middle eastern theme is just not kosher right now. Then we had a top suite at the Veneitian. We had an awesome view of the strip! I don't know if I will ever to be able to sleep in Motel 6 now that I experienced such luxury.

So on the friday morning of our Honeymoon, I woke up with a terrible rash. At first I thought some spider had bitten me several times, and so I didn't think much about it. However, over the next week, the rash became worse, was spreading, and not one spot was clearing up. Oh, and I need to mention that the central location of my rash, was on my butt...which is really unattractive when you are a newlywed... and also when you are scratching it in public. This rash was itching like crazy too! I have never had such bad itching. So anyway, this past Friday I finally went to the doctor only to find out that somehow I had come in contact with poison oak. and that it was going to take about a month for the rash to clear up. I couldn't figure out how the heck I had come into contact with poison oak in Vegas. Let alone, why was this rash was on my a$$. Turns out, that once you come into contact with poison oak, it can take up to two weeks for the rash to develope. So, I have come to the conclusion that on the 4th of July, at a beach party, I had gone off to an overgrown area to releive myself, and I squatted in the wrong area. I know for sure this was it, because my friend Loren is also totally broken out with a poison oak reaction, and she was the one to go with me to find a place to pee. So now we are both suffering with dang ugly itchy rashes!
The moral to this story. Men are lucky, and women are cursed!

the first of many

2005-07-19T16:02:00.000-07:00

With more soon to come!

never a moment's rest

2005-06-27T21:32:00.000-07:00

So the last two weeks or so have been super busy. This past weekend I taught my weekend course on horror films. It was fun, but I was finished with my material a little early. I felt bad dismissing everyone at 4pm, when I knew they had all paid steep summer school fees for a class to end at 5pm. Did I cheat their education? Thinking back to when I was an undergrad,
I would have been very happy to be out of class early... so I probably shouldn't stress about it.

In the class, I learned something rather unfortunate. Most people who are between the ages of 18 - 23... who are undergraduates have NOT seen the orignial Psycho, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, or Night of the Living Dead. (No comment on the Japanese Ringu, which was something no one had seen either.) This was quite a shock to me, as I had been worried that they would have all see the movies I had picked out. I was not surprized to hear that most people enjoyed the original versions more.

Spent part of the week before in Long Beach, doing wedding planning. Things seem to be falling into place. However, yesterday we encountered our first real mishap. My wedding band may not be done in time for the wedding! I might have to wear a plain band instead of the one I ordered five weeks ago. We have been told it will take them another two to three weeks to construct my ring. Shaun was pretty upset and wanted to cancel the order. I see why we should be anger, the jeweler knew I needed this ring by July, however, I really want this one! It looks the best! I will be a little sad if I can't wear my pink saphire ring to the wedding. But I guess I'm marrying the guy, not the ring.

Anyway... these next two weeks are going to be stressful We have a lot of little things to do. On top of many studid things to do, I am crash dieting. Well, I'm trying to be healthy, but I'm eating so little food, and I'm always hungry... which means I'm always GRUMPY. Thursday is when my hell really begins, because I am giving up all food and drink that contains salt. Which is virtually everything. I will be living off of brown rice, veggies, and salmon for over a week. Feeling gross already...

help!

2005-06-20T19:46:00.000-07:00

Okay so I having a problem! I need to choose a song to walk up to Shaun for the wedding ceremony. (I am not walking down an aisle! I refuse) We are having an acoustic guitar player and I need to let him know soon which song I want. I didn't really care, however the pastor reccomends I do pick one.
This is very hard for me. I have discovered I only like songs that are either way too cheesy or about breaking up. I realize love may be a profound feeling, but really, heartbreak and pining away are more interesting. Anyway, any suggestions?

still a' rockin

2005-06-16T20:34:00.000-07:00

Have been so busy lately. Right now I am in Long Beach with Shaun, doing some wedding planning. We left San Francisco this morning at 5:30... and of course I didn't go to bed till after midnight. Oh, and I have a cold. So due to tiredness and certain cold tabs, I feel slightly inebriated, or like I'm still walking on the cruise ship.
My mom has so much already in line for the wedding. Everything should be okay... we may have a little hold up with the photographer... but "hopefully" that will work out too.
To those of you attending the wedding, I warn you, it will be windy!
To those of you going to the shower, my mother has planned a very TRADITIONAL shower. No racy gift giving!
In an update on Shaun's mom... well Shaun has decided to cut ties with her. She is choosing to check out of the psyche ward on Friday. This past Wednesday she threatened that if we didn't let her back into our apartment she would break in while we are here in Long Beach. This was the last straw for him. Much against the UCSF nursing staff's dismay, Shaun packed up his mom's stuff and left all of his mother's belongings with them. At that is that...
Well until we get back into town on Saturday.

From Hillary

2005-06-11T21:59:00.000-07:00

width="238" height="196" alt="Sophia Petrillo" border="1">
target="_blank">Which Golden Girl Are You?

31 days

2005-06-09T12:48:00.000-07:00

On Friday, which is tommorow, I will have only one moth till the wedding. Whoa! I haves so much to do over the next month.

Long Two Weeks

2005-06-06T20:40:00.000-07:00

These past two weeks have been extremely busy and tiring, but they contain some of the highest and lowest moments of my life.
On May 28th, I graduated from San Francisco State with my Master's degree in Cinema Studies. The weekend was so nice. My father and brother were able to come, Shaun was even able to get a Saturday afternoon off to celebrate. Had a lovely time eating Thai food with my family and Susana (from Spain) and Carla (from Brazil).
On the 29th, I left from SFO to Honolulu Hawaii, where I went with my sister and Aunt on a crusie around the Hawaiian Islands. Had a l great time there. Cruise ships are defintly odd though. I may write about it in a future blog.... a weird aspect of consumerism. In Hawaii I discovered I am slightly afraid of snorkeling, or afraid of what may be swimming underneath me. Found Kona to be one of the best little towns on earth. And also discovered that I can no longer tolerate heat as I had heat rash the whole week long. One of the things I really wanted to do in Hawaii was see Volcanos National Park. With Jill, I went on a VERY LONG hike to see flowing Lava. We each paid a hundred bucks to do this... I would recommend people never take this hike. It was sooooooooo hot I broke out in fever blisters. It seemed like I paid so much money to spend six hours in hell. Really, you could view volcanos national park on a bus... which is what we should have done. Anyway, am sad to be back home now.
So now I shall write about the low points of the past two weeks. Shaun's mom conitinued to reside with us up until my family arrived to see me graduate. She was not happy that she couldn't come to my graduation, and not happy to feel she had to leave our apartment. She let us know that she will not be attending our wedding because she feels she will be alone there, and therefore will spend the entire night crying.
After I left for Hawaii she came back to the apartment to stay with Shaun until she could get her belongings moved into her new Sacramento apartment. However, on Shaun's birthday she became upset with him and decided to sedate herself for the day. The day after his birthday, as he was getting ready to move her to sacramento, she attempted suicide by taking an overdose of her medication. She has been in the hospital in intensive care all weekend. Just today she has come out of sedation. Again we have been put in a situation that we don't know how to handle. Shaun is terribly sad, and I am frustrated out of my mind. I am hoping she will choose to remain in the hospital for a while. However, after recovering physically, she is allowed to leave if she so chooses.
It is a rough spot to be in. I just wish Shaun and I could have one moment's peace.

time to be crtical again!

2005-05-19T15:45:00.000-07:00

Have been dying to write on my blog! This week I watched two things that inspired to critique. The first, Britney & Kevin: Chaotic. Whao. Did anyone else watch this show? Good lord, britney spears is soooooooooooooo boring. The only person more boring is her new husband K-Fed. (Hey, and I like Britney) If you like to watch home videos of people making funny faces while holding the camera themselves, then you may like this show. Otherwise, avoid this disaster at all costs. Also, Britney and Kevin are very blatant when it comes to talking about their sex... like where they do it, and how long, and how many times a day. It really makes a person long for Jessica and Nick who at least kept part of their life together private. It was too much... Britney even makes Jessica seem like a genius. She likes to play "reverse psychology" on K-Fed so as to trick him into admiting his feelings about committment. How orginal and funny. Looks like they are well on their way to divorce city.

Second piece to comment on... Star Wars number 3. ho hum. I am no star wars fan that is for sure. But everyone should laugh out loud, because I was stuck waiting for four hours by myself in the rain to watch this thing on Wednesday night at 12:01am. Shaun had to work late... and there I was dretched. So I was BEYOND grumpy inside the theater. The first hour I slept. But I woke up soon enough to realize that Hayden Christian cannot act. Really, I know that the audience was suppose to sympathize with the Vader character as he struggles with duties to his family, duties to the jedi, and duties to the republic... but really it comes off as Vader just being dumb and frustrated. I could not connect at all with Hayden... and it was written well enough that I should have... but this film was in desparate need of a better trained actor. (yes I suppose there was a backhanded compliment in there somewhere...) After that I had to go to the bathroom... and chose to walk around for a while... I am told I missed the best part as Anakin finally doned the Vader suit... but oh well... i was on a quest for kettle corn.

Has anyone noticed how much the jedi are against families and heterosexual coupling? You know what this means....

After the film I possibly thought of the most nerdy-est thing I have ever pondered.... what would it be like if C3PO from star wars met up with Data from star trek? Would data be jealous of C3PO's ability to feel? Would C3PO be jealous of Data's non-robotic body? I am deeply ashamed of myself for thinking about these things.

5 questions

2005-05-15T12:59:00.000-07:00

In response to Hillary
1. What part of marriage are you most looking forward to?
Besides being done with wedding invites, getting in on Shaun's health insurance plan, and receiving another piece of jewelry... I would have to say I am looking forward to officially adopting Shammy. Just kidding. No really I am looking forward to finally being recognized by God and by society as an official committed couple. Although I may disagree with current society's stance on marriage and whom one can or cannot marry, I think for ourselves marriage has been a long time coming. I know a lot of people think that they don't need to be married to be a successful couple or to be in a long term relationship. Different strokes for different strokes. I think going through the ceremony and committing ourselves to each other in front of our family and friends, as well as God, is something we have needed to do for a long time. I think it will be a bit of a relief to finally tie the knot. Did I answer the question?

2. What motivates your interest in media representations of female 'tweens?
Regarding cinema studies in general, I am most interested in feminist film theory. On a more personal level, I am always drawn to films and television which feature females in prominent roles. Of course I love it when mainstream films or TV feature female characters in strong or progressive roles. So although contemporary tween films are not perfect feminist films, they indeed are flawed in many ways, they have a tendency to put forth female characters that have more agency, control, and power than their older Hollywood female counterparts. I argue it is because American society deems a tween age girl as a a female figure is who too young to be sexualized or fetishized like most female Hollywood stars and characters are. The tween girl character therefore is allowed to pursue her dreams and control her own destiny and not be heavily conflicted by boyfriends or coupling.

3. What part of your Dutch heritage do you most appreciate?
The love of good chocolate and being cheap. The dutch are also great gossipers. I am also very proud of my father who came with his poor family here, and really did experience the American dream. He was able to obtain higher education, find a decent job, buy a house, and support a family.

4. What is your ideal career?
I would love to teach critical film studies at a college level. To always pound into young male filmmaker's heads the importance of thinking through why and how they capture objects and people they way they do.... and how this reflects on their culture and their subconscious beliefs.

5. It is very easy to confide in you. How did you cultivate that quality?
I don't think I am a very judgmental personal. I don't think I come from place where I could be judgmental, as I am totally flawed. I'm usually open to most new ideas and am not too opinionated.... and I think people sense that about me.

The Official Interview Game Rules

1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying "interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different.
3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Moving on...
A few nights ago, on Friday the 13th, Shaun and I went for a midnight flashlight tour of the Winchester Mystery House. For those of you who don't know what that is, I'll type out the description that is engrained on the souvenir shot glass I purchesed...

"The Winchester mystery house was the home of Mrs. Sarah L. Winchester, heiress to the Winchester rifle fortune, from 1884 until her death in 1922. After the deaths of her husband and her baby daughter, Mrs Winchester was convinced by a spiritualistic medium that she, too, would share their fate unless she began building a mansion for those spirits killed by the Winchester rifle. So, Sarah began building upon an eight room farm house in San Jose California. The building continued non stop for 38 years producing a 160 room, $5,500,000 mansion containing 13 bathroosm, 47 fireplaces, 10,000 windows, 52 skylights, 2,000 doors, and 40 bedrooms. In 1974, Sarah's home was designated California landmark No. 868."

So the mystery house is suppose to be really haunted. It was voted by the Travel channel, the second most mysterious place in the United States. The house itself is a trip. Even though it is HUGE, you feel completely claustraphobic because Sarah was only 4 foot 10 inches and she had her house built to fit her. Also there are stairs and doors that go no where. She supposedly wanted her house this way so as to confuse the spirits living there. (Hillary did you enjoy the easy rider stairs as much as I did?)
Now I was expecting to be freaked out of my mind. I scare very easily. But of course, the people on the tour with us, were a bunch of people who I am guessing believe they are "witches." They were like chanting and singing. So I knew at the very beginning of the tour that we would for sure see no ghosts. How annoying.
However, I would highly recommend visiting the house. It really blows your mind.

mellowing out

2005-05-12T22:39:00.000-07:00

So I have put off my thesis for a bit. Actually, I had no intention of doing this. I worked very very hard throughout the month of March to get a draft out early. My advisor took a month reading it. So that delayed me actually being finished with my degree. I don't really have many corrections to make. But really don't feel up to doing it. I have been so busy lately... I have barely had time to do just about anything... talk on the phone, clean, sleep, etc. Being that I am getting behind on wedding plans, and now that we have to look for a place for Shaun's mom to live... I have decided to just put it off. I could have it done by June... but my advisor will be away all summer... I won't be officially graduated until December... what a drag.

In other news, I think I stand a good chance of being picked up full time by my office on campus. The salary should be pretty good, and I will get great benefits. I am looking forward to working and getting a chance to relax. I am very sick of working so much as it is, and having to come home and work util 10 - 12 on school work each night. It will also be nice to not have to look for a job, or buy new clothes for job interviews, or work at a job where I have to dress up. Please pray I get this thing!

Right now Shaun and his mom are in Sacramento looking for an aparment. It is the closest area around here that she can afford. Mostly she has been staying in hotels while she has been out here. She has stayed with us a few nights. She has been, overall, fairly nice. However, things seem to be a'brewin while they are in Sacramento. She seems to be pretty worked up and is not being exactly nice to Shaun. Hopefully they will find a place. They put in one application today.. which is kinda annoying... I probably could have gotten a lot more done in the time they have spent. And now they "have" to spend the night so they can look all day Friday... which means, we have to cancel any and all plans... no matter how important they are...I doubt there will ever be a day when she is settled.

Nothing much else going on...I hope to return everyone's emails soon enough. I know I have been out of the loop... but I am sorry... too much stress... I have grown to hate sitting in front of my computer.

too much

2005-04-27T19:20:00.000-07:00

Well it is coming down to my final three weeks of school. So I am super SUPER busy. But you know, it is much easier and fun to write on here than it is to find references on realism in contemporary cinema. Anyway, it has been a fun day... Shaun and I registered at Bed Bath & Beyond as well as Macys. It was pretty tiring. We have also registered at Target. Mostly we are asking for the same stuff from every store. But I guess it gives people the option as to what store they want to shop at. We also ordered the invitations today... I'm hoping to have them here no later than next week and out in the mail ASAP.

Shaun's mom is coming in on Thursday. Over the week Shaun and I have talked a lot about it... and I believe my confindence has been restored. However, she is coming in a rage. She is mad as hell that we are getting married and has already threatened suicide. So it should be at least an interesting couple of weeks. I plan to pour my heart and soul into my studies while she is here. Really, I cannot describe how frustrating it is to have someone who tries to manipulate you with suicide. All you can really do is drive them to the hospital. It is really hard to be sympathetic when it really seems like such a childish maneuveur. (Yes I know this sounds terrible... but this has been going on for years now... over and over again.)

In other news, my boss Brenda is leaving our office on Friday to work at the office of the registrar. This may be good news for me, because I *think* the director of my office is considering hiring me and an emergency fill in. This would be soooooooo awesome. I am praying that this works out because I would not have to worry about money this summer. I am 100% qualified to do her posistion, because she mostly does statistical work... that I have been doing for her all year, and because of my past experience working with taxes.

I have also been hired to teach a weekend course on Spike Lee this summer. It is cool that I gaining valuable teaching experience... however it is very weird that they hired me for this position. I did apply for it, and I sent in a sample sylabus... but honestly I know close to nothing about Spike Lee. God help me here! So while I am in Hawaii after graduation, I need to be having a Spike Lee book on me at all times.

Not Again

2005-04-19T18:18:00.000-07:00

Had a pretty good stay in Long Beach. Of course the only bad thing about the trip was working, but visiting my family was nice. I wish I could have stayed a little longer, but school and work beakoned me back to San Francisco. Today I had to lecture in front of three hundred freshman and sophmores about current trends in the teen pic genre. I think they thought I was a bit ridiculous. People often have a hard time understanding why such seemingly silly films are worthy of critical study. Next week I have to lecture again, and I will get to go into how such films are a reflection of society's sentiments and anxieties concerning their genreation. Don't know if they will buy it. One girl student did let me know that she enjoyed the lecture...

In other news... well I only have bad news which is causing me a lot of stress. Yes it is Shaun's mother time again. I find out on Sunday that she and her mom (Shaun's grandma) are not getting along. Yesterday, she buys a ticket to come out here. She will be in my apartment in ten days. This is VERY upsetting to me. I have no idea why the heck she thinks she is welcome here. Shaun doesn't invite her, she just lets us know that she is coming. This is not the first time this has happened. Beyond that, she has no place to live. What does she want us to do with her? Cuz she sure as hell can't live here. So Shaun now has the difficult job of 1. telling her we are engaged before she flies out.... and... 2. tell her she can't stay here more than two nights. This is a really awful pressure to have put on you. It sounds so awful to have to kick a blind women out of your house, but both of us agree that we cannot tolerate her here. It would be very unhealthy for all three of us.

Also, despite being engaged, I still have some doubt as to whether or not Shaun is strong enough to stand up to his mother. In the past, he hasn't been. Lately on the phone he is great with her. But I do not know how strong he can be with her when she is here in person. He admitted last night that he himself is not sure whether he can stand up to her. She can be really awful and manipulative at times. Which is why I am insisting he tell her we are engaged before her getting out here. I can't think of anything worse than to have to deal with her, complaining in a hotel room about our relationship.

Oh and on top of it, the weekend she arrives I need to work on a presenation and 15 page paper due the following week. How am I suppose to work without any personal space, and with someone being whiny and watching tv 24 hours a day in my living room? (Which is wear my DESKTOP computer is?)

April 15

2005-04-14T21:57:00.000-07:00

For the past five years... (I hate to admit to doing this five times...) I have worked on April 15th at a tax firm. This year, although I now live in San Francisco, I came down for a week and decided to work for some extra dough. I have again decided, like I do every year, that working at the office is not really worth the money. It is so stressful and everything in that office is soooooooo incredibly unorganized. I am not even a very orgranized person, and I can't stand it. My boss is giving me a really hard time too when I have to leave early, even though I told her ahead of time that I was going to leave early. That office takes in far too many phonecalls a day for any person working there to be sane. The constant ringing is really upsettig. At 7pm we even decided to not pick up the phones, which lead to an entire hour of ringing. Well, only one more really long day.
Today I tasted my first option for a wedding cake The Great Dane Bakery in Los Al. I really liked the cake, for not being homemade. The cake should be pretty... it will be three layers with real roses and daisys. I had to talk my mother into allowing real flowers on the cake. She was dead set against it, because she is the only person alive that likes all those flowers made out of frosting. She thinks the cake won't be pretty once they take the flowers off...Also, she really likes buttercream frosting.
This blog is extremely boring because I am dead DEAD tired. I will stop boring people now and stop typing.

time flies

2005-03-29T17:53:00.000-08:00

Can't believe it is almost April. Where has this year gone?
Right now I am procrastinating. I need to be working on class lessons. I am applying for summer teaching posistions this summer, and the deadline to turn in applications/teaching lessons/syllabi is Friday. I should try to get them in before that. But I doubt it. I'm a little depressed. I have been working non-stop for a while. Trying to bust out a draft of my thesis by next week. I have 16pages, and I need approx. 30 by Tuesday. It is going to be a hellish weekend. I need more time... and more wine too... Last night I was so stressed I couldnt sleep. Instead of just laying there, I guess I should have been more productive and tried to get some work done.
Back to the summer posistions, I am applying to teach courses on Horror Films, Hitchcock, and Spike Lee. Truthfully, I don't know much about Spike Lee, but feel I could read up on him and teach the class. I do know a little something about how his women characters, but that is about it. It is the only class lesson I have left to make... and I want to get it done tonight. UCK! I would much rather watch American Idol.
Last week was spring break. Shaun took a couple of days off, and we took a few short day trips. On Thursday we headed down to half moon bay to see mavericks... which weren't that big at 2pm. However, in half moon bay they have the most amazing tide pools. Miles and miles of tide poos full of starfish, sea urchins, and sea anenimies. Really amazing. The bad part though.... I totally triped over a rock and sprang my ankle. I couldn't walk at all the next day. I attempted to go to the doctor's, but couldn't walk into the building... a police office had to drive me in. I am not kidding. It was kinda cool... but pretty embarassing too....
To anyone who cares, I plan on being in Long Beach between April 9th and the 16th.
Time to work on Spike.

up in the air

2005-03-12T14:32:00.000-08:00

So we now have an official date... July 10th. My mom is putting in the reception reservations today for the El Dorado Country Club. They do everything for you there. Which is nice. I suppose I still need to think about flowers and place settings... but I don't really care all that much. Weddings planning stresses me out, so I have decided to let my mother and sister do it. The only downside to having it at the Country Club is I think they are making the cake. And it probably won't be very good. Cake is one of my fave things in life... so it would kinda suck to have a dry one with 2 tons of frosting for the wedding. But, I don't have a whole lot of time to prepare... so if it is easier, I'm going with it.
Shaun's mom is on the war path once again. She is very upset that when she was out here in San Francisco back in December that she didn't get to come up and visit with Shammy. It is now making her feel very unwelcomed. Also she is mad at her sister and no longer wants to live in Michigan. She is suppose to look into moving to Boston and living with a girlfriend of hers. It kinda of sucks, because I wish she would hurry up and get settled. The longer she waits to get an apartment, there runs greater risk of her becoming angry with everyone and breaking down. We haven't told her the news. Which sucks too. In no way do I want to tell her now that we are engaged. She is already upset. I'm sure the news would push her over the edge.
I am stilling waiting on word from UCSB on whether or not I'm into their school. I should know by the end of the month. I don't really mind waiting. I kind of like things being a little up in the air. Right now it seems safer.
As for March. I need to get a draft of my thesis out by the end of the month. Writing is slow going. Over the next three weekends I'll be working my butt off.

elimindate

2005-03-05T18:16:00.000-08:00

So I haven't written in a while... it is not that I have been overwhelmingly busy or anything... just avoding writing in general. Which means, I am making very little to no headway on my thesis. I have been soooooooooo unmotivated lately. Oh well... I'm sure I won't be sleeping after about April 16th stuggling to get it done. I have to lecture on my thesis on April 19th to about 300 freshmen students. Should be rather entertaining.

In other news.... we have kind of, sort of, have set a date. This is major committment now. We will most likely be getting married on either July 8th or 9th. Hopefully on the beach in Orange County... and the reception has yet to be determined. I wanted to save money and have it at my parents house... but my mom thinks that is too much work for her... so she is scouthing out locations this weekend. I guess I don't really care... but I would rather have the reception outside, because So Cal is nice at night in the Summer.

Okay... so the main purpose of this blog entry was to mention American Idol. I don't know how many people read my blog... but if anyone watches American Idol... I have some news for them. I saw Constantine, the most annoying of the contestants, on an episode of Elimindate the other night. It was literally one of the most funny things I have seen this year. It was embarassing and uncomfortable...but he won the date!

Sunday

2005-02-13T11:00:00.000-08:00

Okay, just spent the last twenty min. writing a blogger entry... which was deleted by accident. So now I have to write it all over again. (Well it was just my two cents on movies that I have seen recently... so maybe no one cares... anyway I will proceed again)
Finally saw The Princess Diaries. Didnt want to see it, but thought I should given that my thesis is titled The Representation of Pre-Adolescent Females in Contemprary American Cinema. I don't like that girls desire to be princesses, and I thought that this movie was going to play into that. Well, frankly, it did. However the main character Mia chooses to be a princess not because she desires to be pretty, lazy, rich, and marry a prince... but because her family and country want her to be princess. So overall I guess that it a better message. The film had a little too many prat falls in it for me. But hey, I guess that is Disney.
Another film I saw for my thesis was a documentary titled Girlhood. It is about two girls who are imprisoned as 12 and 14 year olds. Shanee was ganged raped at 11, and at 12 stabbed her friend to death. However, Shanee in the film is portrayed as sweet and intelligent, and as a girl who was very confused about the incident. Her crime seems to be a product of unfortunate circumstances. Eventually Shanee is released from jail, graduates fourth in her class, and attends college. She really makes one consider the difficulty in evaluating children's crime. The other girl Christina has run away from foster care 10 times. She is a bit of a rebel within the institution, causing havoc for the wards. Christina has a terrible mother (herion addict and prostitute) who is ruining her life. The girl cannot understand her mixed emotions, and although wiser than her mother, allows her mom to drag her down. Christina is left chasing a dream of acheiving the GED. Overall the film is very interesting, but I wouldn't reccommend it to anyone who works with young girls. Some of the events in the film are harrowing, and not everyone wants to hear or see about that type of thing when seeing a movie. Defintly not uplifting. However, there is one particulary funny scene in which one of the male wards tries to teach Shanaee about how to pick a proper suitor. He has a large note pad with penciled drawings of thugs, and attempts to teach Shanaee that you can read a person by how they are dressed. He then shows her another pencil drawing of a man and a girl, both wearing suits, holding hands. He tells her this is the most "desireable posistion." Shanaee, being a smart girl, finds many many flaws in his over simplified teaching methods.
Also saw a movied titled Happy Times, a chinese film from the director who made House of Flying Daggers, Hero, and Raise the Red Latern. This director is one of the best of our time. He is able to have us fall in love with his characters, and gives the viewer an almost touchable relationship or textile feel to his settings. The story is about an elderly retired chinese man looking for love. He is trying to marry a younger overweight woman who has one son and one step daughter. The step daughter is blind and is highly neglected by the mother. The man goes out of his way to please the step daughter and ends up in a touching and endearing father/duaghter relationship with her. The film ends very sad.

Besides those films, I have been wathcing too much TV. A lot of TV... it is embarassing. My new fave is Project Runway on Bravo.

Cursed!!!

2005-02-08T17:44:00.000-08:00

I'm in a bit of a mood. I got my first denial letter today. It wasnt a big shock.... I did not get into Ohio State, the letter reasons, becasue many of their graduate posistions were cut and also because they are looking for someone with more femminist theory/degress in their background. Oh well. I better get used to rejection.

Tommorow is Ash Wenesday. Once again I am participating in Lent. No more sweets for me. Ugh. I am upset because Easter comes early this year, and therefore I do not get to eat chocolate on Valentine's Day (usually a neccessity.) Also, I will not get to drown my anxieties concerning my future in cakes and cookies. What is a girl to do?

Oh, today this was circulating around my office. A number of people are getting married this year... and so some people believe this is funny...

Chinese rush to wed before 'widow's year'
By David J. Lynch, USA TODAY

In many ways, the happy couple is the face of modern China. Liu Bo, 27, manages real estate in the Chinese capital's red-hot property market. His fiancée, Guo Li, 27, sells wine, increasingly popular among the city's emerging class of affluent professionals.

Yet Friday, the two were outside a drab government office, anxious to wed before the start of the Chinese New Year on Tuesday. The reason? An ancient superstition arising from a calendar quirk that makes the coming lunar year a "widow's year."

"It's definitely something I considered. ... I don't believe in it too much, but it's better to be safe than sorry," Guo said, after waiting more than two hours.

Because of the vagaries of the Chinese lunar calendar, this new year will not contain the traditional start of spring known as li chun. For many here, that means the Chinese year 4702 will be cursed and, thus, a bad one in which to marry.

The sudden fuss over li chun is just the latest round in China's long-running tussle between modernity and tradition. In the 1960s, Red Guard revolutionaries waged a vicious campaign against everything traditional, destroying antiquities and deriding the Confucian values that guided Chinese life for centuries.

Today, Chinese enjoy greater economic and personal — though not political — freedoms. That has left them free to choose their own lifestyles and traditions, rather than follow Communist Party dictates or mimic Western habits. Their search for the latest trend has led some young Chinese back to ancient ways — such the notion of the widow's year.

Ren Minyu, a retired engineer who supplements his pension by helping people select auspicious days for weddings and important celebrations, is struck by the surge of interest in the widow's year curiosity.

"I haven't heard people mention this for years," Ren says.

China's embrace of yesterday and tomorrow is apparent in other ways, too. For years, Chinese with enough cash have fled the cramped, amenity-free housing of central Beijing's hutongs or alleys. Now, a new housing development northeast of the capital city, called Cathay View, has updated the traditional Chinese courtyard home with modern conveniences. Prices range from $580,000 to $1 million.

In Shanghai, the world's first magnetic-levitation train whisks passengers from a state-of-the-art airport to the futuristic landscape of the Pudong district. Yet, the trendsetters strolling the city's riverside promenade choose their cell phone numbers according to ingrained notions of what constitutes good luck. They want numbers that contain the digit 8 because it sounds like the Cantonese phrase "to get rich." Avoided at all costs are phone numbers with the digit 4, a homonym for "death."

For the past several weeks, as the old year drained away, Chinese couples have thronged municipal marriage registration offices.

On one reputedly lucky day earlier this month, 600 couples showed up to get married at an office in Beijing's Haidian district — six times the daily average, state-run Xinhua News Agency reported.

Some people waited up to seven hours to complete the 15-minute formalities. The office, which normally closes at 5 p.m., remained open until midnight.

On Friday, the last lucky day of the current year, the Chaoyang district office was busy from its 8:30 a.m. opening. By mid-morning, couples filled the blue plastic seats lining the hallway outside the marriage office. Architects, doctors and investment consultants were among those filing into the yuan yuan— or "garden of joining together" — room to get married before bad luck descended.

In China, getting married is often a two-step process. The legal rite occurs in plain municipal offices like the one Guo and Liu visited. For about $24, a couple can have their picture taken standing beneath the official seal of China. But for most couples, the main celebration comes at a party with relatives and friends several days later.

On that day, the bride traditionally wears a flaming red dress. In the past, white, the color of choice for mourning and funeral attire, was considered bad luck. Some young brides now opt for both colors in what they see as a more modern stance.

Few people seem to believe genuinely that they would be courting trouble by getting married in the new year. In a survey for state-run China Central Television, 48% said they were respecting the superstition because of their parents' feelings. Twenty-five percent cited peer pressure. Only 12% said they believed in the curse.

In an online chat, a writer with the screen name of Blue Girl berated other Chinese for allowing the widow's year curse to shape their lives. Only the aged and uneducated should fall prey to such superstitions, she wrote.

Some traditions, of course, have been abandoned amid China's rapid modernization over the past quarter-century.

Before the 1970s, for example, most Chinese homes lacked toilets, so people relied upon wooden buckets known as matongs. When newlyweds arrived for the first time at their marital home, they would be greeted by a new toilet pail filled with red, hard-boiled eggs, meant to symbolize fertility.

That tradition is gone and unlamented, but others remain. This week, according to the Chinese calendar known as huang li, Monday is a good day to sweep the graves of ancestors or start construction. But it's a bad day to move into a new house or travel north. Tuesday is a good day to get a haircut and cultivate plants but unlucky for a funeral.

Wednesday is ideal for visiting friends, but bad for moving to a new house. Thursday is an excellent day to worship the dead, unless you have to travel to do it. Friday is a good day to move an ancestor's grave, but not to move the living.

"If you follow all the traditions," Ren sighs, "you can't get anything done."

After all of this bad news, I feel like kicking a hole in a wall.

?

2005-02-03T14:34:00.000-08:00

School has resumed this week. My classes are going to be a lot of work. The class I am teaching, critical studies, should be intersting. I have a lot more students than last semester... a lot more young male filmmakers who have no interest in critcial studies atl all. I think I might have already frigtened them by opening up Pandora's box and announcing my problems with John Wayne and my interst in femminist film theory. There are two women in my class who are with me. One is even getting her Master's in Women's Studies and writes about elderly women in modern media... (Hillary, I have yet to ask her about the Golden Girls... but I'll get back to you on that one...) But it is litterally us against about 30 young men. Youch!
The other class I grade for is huge... and the other student assisstant has backed out of the class... so my paper load just went up to 600....
The class that I actually need to take is not my cup of tea. It is on realism. A subject I have very little interst in. I have no idea how I am going to make it through this class. It is just one of those things I need to do.

So I received a peculiar message on my machine yesterday from Shaun's mother. It was a long message describing how sorry she is for treating me so bad over the years and how important I am in her life, second only to Shaun. The thing is, I dont really want an apology. It doesn't really mean anything to me because I have just come to accept that there are going to be times when she is going to hate me more than life itself, and there are going to be times when she absolutely loves me. It would mean so much more to me if she would get into some therapy that would help her deal with her whacked out emotions. Anyway, I was fine with the message until I realized that she may be wanting a return phone call. Which, I won't be making. A Valentine's card will have to suffice. (Well, I admit it... I am a bitter person... I remember when I sent her a Christmas card, and then when she came to my apartment to stay with Shaun while I was gone over Christmas, she gave it back to him and told him to not let me contact her in any way. Ahhhh such nice memories.)

Anyway, immediately after I heard the message it made me think that I could actually possibly have something that might resemble a wedding. I must mention here that yesterday I also recieved my wedding shoes in the mail. They are super cute espradille wedges. I got excited. Actually, according to Harper's Bazaar, my wedding outfit is going to be quite fashionable. In their new spring special, they list white eyelet dresses and wedge sandals, as two of the most "in" items of the season. Of course, I probably won't marry till summer... so by then the items will be sooooo last minite. Just to let my readers know... I am thinking of attempting to get married on the beach. Does anyone have any idea how to do such a thing?

In other news... I might be developing a planters wart on my left foot. Thanks Jill!

ghettofab

2005-01-30T15:59:00.000-08:00

This is my last day of freedom. My last moment where I do not need to be working on papers. I am treasuring it. Thank goodness I have been sick and have not had to go out. I can just relax. Right now I am cooking a brisket for dinner, drinking a beer, listening to country radio, and surfing the net. It is so nice and comfy.

Anyway, yesterday I ventured out to the mall. (Even though San Francisco may be one of the most unique and diverse cities in the US, I have never spent more time in a mall than since I moved here. I cant help it. I live near two.) Anyway, the shoe store, The Athletes Foot, is going out of bussiness and was having a big sale. The store was filled to capacity with people and was dirty, and slightly stinky. Now I love a good sale, but the people buying the tennis shoes were sooooooo ghetto. I haven't encountered such people since either the last time I went to the Prospector in Long Beach or the Palace in Hollywood. And do you even know what is more ghetto that ghetto kids? Ghetto kids with their ghetto parents. I was waiting in a line for over a half an hour behind two sets of families who were driving me crazy. Somehow I don't think it is wise to buy your kids new shoes, when your kids aren't even wearing socks with their old tennies. Oh, and there was lots of cussing... lots of cussing. I ended up purchasing Shaun some all white Pumas. They are kind of fashionably ghetto. Like something Britney Spear's husband would wear. I kind of like them. The ghetto must of rubbed off on me.

On Monday I am teaching the same class I taught last semester, critical studies. I have a weird fear that at lease one of my students may find this blog. That would be very embarassing.

disgusted with myself

2005-01-29T13:05:00.000-08:00

I cant stand myself right now! I have just received my "dress to be married in" in the mail. I have tried it on, and it looks great! I got such a bargain. So now I cant stand myself because I am wallowing in girly dressing up goofiness. I actual believe that I made a much more tasteful decision buying this simple sun dress over something more formal because my wedding what ever it will be (justice of the peace in SF, Las Vegas, or by parents backyard) is going to be very simplistic. So I feel pretty good about everything... well I am concerned that one of my tattoos will be exposed... and my grandmother does not know I have tattoos. That may come as quite a shock to her.

In other news... school will be starting soon. That is about it. I don't have much of a life. I kind of grown accustomed to staying at home watching TV... surfing the net... and baking. Who knew that I would become such a homebody?

just when I thought it was over....

2005-01-24T18:32:00.000-08:00

I have had a rather upsetting day. I just found out UCSD did not recieve some of my graduate materials. I sent them well over a week and a half ago... so they should have been there at least a few days before their Jan. 18th deadline. I cannot find my post office receipt... so I cannot track the package. So, now I need to ask for additional letters of rec. This is so frustrating. I hope the folks at UCSD's department of communication are nice, because this will probably hurt my chances of getting into their school. UCSD was one of my safest choices too. ARGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!

Anyway, had a weird day yesterday. Decided to fast for the day. I ate too much while my sister was here... and felt really bloated. Because I have never fasted before, I also thought it might be spirtually uplifting. I didn't have much planned for the day... as I am sick and wasn't planning on leaving my apartment except to do laundry. Well, late in the day I decided it might be nice to take a bath... that the bath would clear up some of my congestion. This was a big mistake.... the bath was so hot it drained me of all energy... I could not even get up. Each time I tried to stand up, my heart would start beating faster and faster, I would get nausea, and I would start to black out. I thought I was going to be found passed out in a tub of hot water. Really it was awful... After I finally mangaged to get out of the bathroom, I was completely wiped out. I could barely walk. Once Shaun came home, he had to make dinner because I was so weak. And then once I ate, I was sick to my stomach for two hours. It was awful. I think my metabolism must really be shot. I now have confirmed my intial conviction: God does not want me to fast.

Well I am still rather upset about my application. I really hope they understand that the post office goofed and will allow me to resend the materials.

one week

2005-01-23T17:01:00.000-08:00

One week untill school starts back up. I am terrified. Not only is this going to be my brokest semester... it may be my busiest. I thought that my final semester at SF State was going to be easy... However I have taken on two TAing gigs, and both of them are extremely time consuming. I wanted easy TAing gigs... but no one would hire me except the Professors who require a lot of work... and thus a lot of grading on my part. Ugh. I need the money though. Oh, and I still have one real class to finish up. It is going to be hard. I do not know how much time I can devote to it. Wow! I am already stressed out.

My sister left yesterday. I had a nice time with her. We went to the Monterey bay Aq. and saw the great white shark. She is really small. Like 5 feet long. She is in a tank with other sharks and plenty of tuna. I wonder what will happen when she turns on the other fish. I assume that the Monterey Aq. is already planning on moving her to a different tank.

Well, I have bought the dress that I plan on getting married in. I do not want to call it a "wedding dress" because I do not know how serious of a wedding it will be. It is a simple sun dress that I bought online for a small amount of money. It is white... so I guess it will meet some of my mother's criteria. I am hoping that someone artisitc will add pink accents for me to the dress. I wanted it to be cream colored...but the online store only had white. Oh well.

I really like the shopping part of getting married...

Oh by the way... I know some girls are in love with the idea of a wedding... but I checked out the David's Bridal site... and so many dresses are hideous! What sick person designed these dresses? In no way would any of those dresses be flattering on me! I would wind up looking like a a giant cake!

No way am I wearing a veil. How outdated is that idea?

Over the next few months Shaun and I will anxiously be awaiting acceptance/denial letters from graduate schools. I hate to admit this... but thinking of marriage is sooooooooooo much easier that worring about what to do with our lives if we don't get in.

Finally.... Done!!!!!

2005-01-14T13:25:00.000-08:00

Sooooo, after two drawn out months, I am finally finished applying to graduate schools!!! I am so excited. I sent my fianl application to UC San Diego last night at 12:15am. Now I get two weeks of little stress. All I have to do is work and read about youthful females in contemporary cinema. My life since August has been such a headache... one stressful situation after another.
Shaun even got his application into SF State today. I hope he gets in... his GPA might be .01 grade point too low. We are hoping they will overlook that.
So my sister is visiting me next week, and I am really looking foward to it. Shaun took the week off to drive us around. For sure we are going to the monterey bay aquairium to see the great white shark they have in captivity. I am pretty stoked about this. We will also be making a mandatory trip to china town to visit all the shops. It'll be nice to have a little vacation, even if it is in my own area.
Tonight I'm heading over to Susana's for some homemade Spainish food, wine, and a film. Should be great done.

Commentary on Angels in America: For all of my English / Literature Major friends.... this is a movie to check out. The film actually aired on HBO, so it is lacking in sophisticated scenery and special effects. However, the dialog is incredible. The film is set in 1985 and is about a group of, at first unreleated, people in NYC who are being affected by the HIV virus. Like I said, the writing is brilliant. It reminds me of older films from the 40s that relied on strong dialog and excellent acting as opposed to brillant and catchy effects. The screenplay, which was adapted from theater, has won an emmy, the golden globe, a tony, and a pulitzer. The film is extremely touching and poetic... and any person who enjoys eloquent writing will enjoy this...

due dates

2005-01-08T13:51:00.000-08:00

So far I have applied to three schools. This week I need to get off my final two applications. I hate that I have to do this on my break... But oh well. I am applying to UCSB, USC, Univerisity of Wisconsin-Madison, Ohio State, and UCSD. I do not think I will get into any of them... but I probably stand the highest chance of getting into Wisconsin and UCSD. I don't know if I really want to live in Madison. It will be unbearably cold and there will be nothing to do. Also I think it might be a bit of a culture shock for me. It was a culture shock for me to move to San Francisco from Southern California. I miss the beach life tremendously. Currently Shaun is applying to grad school at SF State and maybe San Diego State. Our first years of marriage may be lived apart. Which makes me feel really guilty. But he is very encouraging, and wants me to get this degree. We have lived apart in the past and know we can do it, as long as we schedule regular visits. However, I am really hoping to get into a Califronia school!
On the news front.... Shaun's mother is considering moving to Michigan! This is an answer to my prayers! It would be the best thing for her... the one slight glich would be that she might lose some of her medical benefits. If she does, then she is forced to live in California. She is on so many meds that she is addicted to, I don't think she could stand be off of them. Last time she went off of her meds she tried to commit suicide. But overall I am positive. I am very happy that she is getting along with her family out there... and wants to live close to them.
Shaun and I have been watching a lot of movies lately. So many that I forget which ones I have seen. A few months ago I was at church and a guy asked me how many movies I watched a week... I think I fibbed and told him three a week. He was totally blown away by this number. The reality is that I probably watch on average 7 movies a week. A little less now that I am not in school... But when the semester starts the number goes up to about 10 movies a week. It doesn't seem like a lot to me. Really I should be wathcing more... I need to see as many films as possible.
I will give some short opionions/synopsis' of the films/DVDs I have seen recently...
Ladykillers - Two hours of jibberish. Not good! Far too much of Hanks talking in a funky southern accent.
Harold and Kumar go to Whitecastle - This is by far my fave movie of 2004. I absolutely love this film. For those of you who haven't seen it, and are put off by it being made by the same director of Dude Where is my Car... This film is far far far funnier! Although the female roles are somewhat degrading, and it does encourage driving under the influence it's commentary/satire on Indians and Koreans in Hollywood film is sharp and witty. I can't think of another film, made for a mass audience, that confronts these issues so robustly. I now own this film. I will give a warning, the unrated DVD does have extra nudity if that offends you.
Sex and the City, Sixth Season Part Two - The last season of one of my fave shows is not very humorous. In fact it is by far the most dramatic season. There are a few bad episodes. However, there were a few episodes that really had an impact on me personally. Generally when I watch Sex in the City, I find it very amusing, but have problems identifying with the characters. This is the season where I did identify with them. Two episodes that are particulary good... Miranda gets married to Steve and wants an atypical wedding. And, Carrie gets romanced by a Russian painter and finds herself too cynical to be carried away by his loving gestures...
Open Range - After just finishing a semester of watching Western films taught by the leading authority on them... I didn't like this film so much. Kevin Costner really shouldn't direct himself. His acting becomes very flat. I can see why senior citizens really like this film. As the aging Robert Duvall is the overall hero.
Collateral - Better than I thought it was going to be. I can see why the director, Mann, is getting so much acclaim for this film. His directing style is quick and stylized, but he is not over the top like a lot of action directors... (Tarantino and just about anyone else.) I hate Tom Cruise immensely... and his role was typical Cruise-esqe. However, Jamie Foxx was good. I like him a lot. Who knew? Also, getting back to race in film.... Besides the Foxx character... this film falls into steretyping asians and hispanics. (Unlike Harold and Kumar)
Hero - This film looks really good... However, I didn't make it all the way through it... fell asleep. The visuals are beautiful and the story seems better than Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
Finding Neverland - Good film. I typically hate child actors... but the ones here are very moving and not annoying. Kate Wislet is always perfection on film. Depp is good... but it isnot one of his better roles. I loved the story in this film. Touching and a tear-jerking.
Ray - The movie is okay. A little long. However Jamie Foxx is dead on Ray Charles. He should get the Oscar
Outfoxed - This is a documentary about Rupert Mudoch and his ownership of the fox network. It's arguement, that Fox news is not "fair and balanced" and instead undermines it's journalistic credibilty by pushing conservatism and Republican issues , is convincing. However as a film itself, it falls flat. Nothing particulary intersting or moving about its style or point.

These are all the films I can remember right now. I probably have seen more... but I forget... Anyway tonight I'll probably watch Angels in America. I here great things about it.

It is pouring outside again. I wish the rain would finely let up. However, the two weeks of rain has been giving me an excuse to stay inside and relax a bit.

aches and pains

2005-01-05T17:24:00.000-08:00

So for the past week or so I have had the oddest pain behind my left ear. Thinking it was brain cancer, and also because I was complaining too much to Shaun, I ended up at the doctor's yesterday. Turns out that I have TMJ. I do not know what that stands for, but I guess I have a clenched jaw. I don't think I grind my teeth in my sleep, but it is quite possible that I sleep with my mouth clenched due to stress. The doctor gave me a whole weeks worth of prescription painkillers. I am to not go off of them for the next week. Of course, I thought this would be heaven! However, instead of the drugs making me feel high, I just feel like I am tired all the time. It kinda sucks. I have never had a vicadin, but from all the hype, they must be a lot cooler than the painkiller I am on.
It makes me think though, I am on my vacation! Why am I sleeping in such a stressed out manner?
Besides that, I should mention in this thingy what a wonderful christmas I had this past year. Really all my family and friends seemed to go out of their way to get me exceptional gifts. And though I know that gifts arent the point of Christmas... I am blown away sometimes by how much I am loved. My aunt is giving me cruise in Hawaii after I graduate in May, my family gave me so many awesome things including a Gwen Stefani bag I have been lusting over, a great hair cut and color weave, clothes, and a wonderful week in Long Beach. God even gave me hot weather while I was there! On top of all this Shaun has given me so much this year, both emotionally and gift wise. He got me wonderful gifts like Donkey Konga (which i really really wanted) and he bought, installed, and personalized a new hard drive for my computer... AND he gave me a beautiful engagement ring. Okay, and not to mention the t-shirt Hillary sent me from the southern state of Virgina... I can't wait till I visit her and can wear my "Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy Shirt" in the proper setting. It might not go over so well here in San Francisco. So right now it sits on the back of my computer chair. Really I am quite blessed.

2005

2005-01-01T13:04:00.000-08:00

Wow! It has been so long since I have blogged! I think of blogging all the time, but just have had a hard time getting around to it. Especially after the horrific semester I have had. The term ended two weeks ago, and I have been avoiding spending time by a computer since then. During the semester, if I were home I would always have to be sitting by this dang thing writing a paper, personal statement, or filling out an online application. The work broke by love of the net.

Anyway, so much has happened since I last blogged. Of course, there has been drama with Shaun's mama! But currently she is with her family in Michigan, and will be there for another week. So I am not even going to think about her until then. Other than that... my week with my family was great! Had such a nice time relaxing and wished I could have stayed longer. When I am in long beach my mother totally pampers me. I didn't have to cook or do dishes! I love that! Christmas was unusually great too! It is so nice to have a certain mother in law out of town.

Other than that, the big news is that I am finally properly engaged. My mother is very excited about having a wedding. A wedding I don't want. I just want things to be as informal as possible. No real invitations. No real plans. Just simple quick and fun. No pain involved. i don't like thinking of a wedding at all. It kind of makes me feel ill. I refuse to get a bridal magazine. I like the idea of being married though. Oh and I really love the bling involved in being married. Even though my engagement ring is a very modest princess cut solitaire, I have spent hours looking at wedding bands for the future day. I never knew how much I loved diamonds until this moment. They are so shiny and beautiful!

New Years was calm. Just made a casserole recipe that I found in redbook and watched Anchorman. Which wasnt very good. Elf was much better.
Well I guess that is enough for now.

oh joy

2004-12-06T16:43:00.000-08:00

I have not updated for a while. My life is so incredibly busy. Between papers and doctoral applications, I have not had time to do just about anything besides thinking and using my word processing. Really my life has been miserable!
I am in sort of a deserate stage. I do no think i will be getting into graduate programs. Which is a major bummer because, after school I'm not sure what to do with myself. Of course, I will have to find work. And then apply again next year. The total cost of applying to five schools is well over 500 dollars.... so it is a bit pricey and makes me think I am totally wasting both my money and my time. I understand that me getting into school is god's will, and will also probably take an act of god for one of the schools to be interested in me.
Actually my life is not so good right now. Speaking of god, does he punish christians? Or is that just a catholic thing? I know I am going to sound like a whiney white american girl, but my life sucks! and I wonder am I cursed? First I score low on my GREs, then my life becomes super super super hectic with everyone i know wanting things from me, and then shaun's mom moves out of Eurkea and decides to come stay in San Francicco. Obviously I must be screwing up, becaue right now my life is torture! No one deserves this kind of pressure or unpleasantness!
Well I am blabbing. At least the OC is back on. And, I have chocolate in my apartment.
Hasta la vista

quick update

2004-11-14T13:03:00.000-08:00

Again, I should be busy at work... but have decided to update this thingy! I take the GRE this Tuesday for the second time. Yucko! I do not plan on doing very well. Last time I took it I scored high on the math. Last night I was reviewing math, and have noticed since I have quit the tax office that my arithmitic skills have diminished. I am scoring really low on the math... and not very high on verbal. I am doomed! I mean who really remembers the quadratic equation? Really though, the GRE is a determining factor on whether or not I get into a grad school... and right now my chances are not looking good.
Have devoted all of my weekends to working. Today I need to write a rough draft of my personal statement for my professors, need to update a writing example, update my resume, print out my cv... and oh yeah study more for the GRE.
On the fun side, we went out on Friday to a western restraurant and then a line dancing club called the Saddle Rack to celebrate our Western film class. I got to ride the mechanical bull! I did not fall off of it, because I told the operator to let me off. Shaun rode the bull for a really long time and is now severly bruised. The club had a real live bad that was rather good. The lead singer was a cheap knock off Nicole Ritchi, but could really hold her own on vocals. She looked pretty trashy in a tiny skirt and a "Vivid Entertainment" torn tank top. (Vivid is one of the top porn distributors.) She sang my current fave country hit, "redneck woman." Although the Saddle Rack was a lot of fun, and had a lot of country dancing going on, it's amibiance does not match that of Lancaster's Schooners. Have found myself listening to a lot of country music lately....

it feels like mid novemeber

2004-11-07T16:45:00.000-08:00

Okay so the month just started. There is something I dont like about Novemeber. In November, you are always waiting for something... like your four day weekend for thanksgiving or the semester to be over with. I dont like waiting much. I am so impatient. I cant wait for Novemeber to be over with... because that will mean that I am done with my PHD application to UCSB. I should be writing my paper right now, but have chosen to goof off online instead. The paper I am working on is hard. It is about adolescent figures in western films. I dont know if this paper will pan out very well, but I intend to use it as my writing example for doctoral programs. My professor is giving me pointers, but is doubtful about it because there are not a whole lot of sources I can use. Funny, very few people have written on western films. I need to go to the library for at lease some external sources... but have a lack of time over the next few days. I could have gone this weekend... but the idea of having to walk to campus on my days off is depressing.

I am staying here in San Francisco for Thanksgiving. Shaun is working the day before and the day after, and I dont want to leave him by himself on the holiday. I havent been to long beach since July, and I am beginning to miss my family. I am alone a lot here and it can get kind of sad. This weekend I have been alone practically the whole time. Shaun gets home late from work due to meetings and what not. Although it does give me more time to focus on my work, I do get lonely.

It is really cold here too, and that makes me feel kind of trapped. I hate cold weather and having to dress all bundled up.

If Shaun's mom goes away to Michigan for Christmas, I will be looking forward to the holiday. If she doesnt leave, things could royally suck. Right now I am planning on leaving for long beach in mid december, and getting back here the day before to spend the day with Shaun. I dont know how my mother will fell about that... but I will try and be in long beach for over a week... so maybe she will be happy.
Well I shoud work.

here I go again...

2004-10-22T19:59:00.000-07:00

Okay so I thought last month was stressful... I have a feeling November is going to be worse! So I just found out that my first grad application is due Dec 1st. That is almost only one month away! I am freaking out here! I just scheduled my GRE exam (again), and dont even know if I scheduled it early enough...
My first choice film school is going to be UCSB.... there are the school which has an early deadline... and I just received an email today that if they dont have my GRE scores by mid December they will drop my application... that sucks. I am so paranoid at the moment if taking the test mid Novemeber will not be early enough.
I took the GRE once before, but scored too low on verbal. I am hoping to improve that score. Although I DO NOT have time to prepare for the GRE, I am hoping that during my past year in Grad school, that some how I have managed to absorb large words into my vocablary. Ugh. I will have to find time to study.
On top of that, I need a helluva good writing example... which I dont have at the moment. So over the next month I will be working VERY HARD at having a good example... something that expresses my interest and dedication to the teen in film. Currently I am working on a paper about the preadolescent and pre-sexual girl in westerns... and I think I will be sending that one in... I plan on meeting many times with my prof. to work on it.
Other schools that so far I know I am applying to are... Univ of Texas at Austin for film and Ohio State for women's studies. Besides that, I would like to add one more california school and one more film school. Applications are so hard and draining.
I doubt that a school will even take me.

long time no write

2004-10-17T16:17:00.000-07:00

It has been almost a month since I have updated this thing. No, I havent been angry at the blogger website, just extremely busy. Probably the most busy I've been since I was an undergrad at UCSB.
Over the past two weeks I went out to Ohio to visit with Kirsten, speak at an academic conference, and meet some of Shaun's extended family. The trip was short only five days, and by the time we got back we were ready for a vacation. However, there was no time for that. This past week I have been preparing for the SFSU film conference as well as preparing for a major class project which was due last Thursday.
As of now, my two weeks of hell are over and I am finally allowing myself to relax a little. Our SFSU conference went fairly well. I am upset about the Prof who I work for kinda grilling me on my topic, and uh, not exactly being nice. But other than that, I am both happy and sad that it is all over. Happy that I can relax, depressed because now I dont know what to do. (Well, not really...)
The next few months will be rather anxiety ridden. I plan to officially start writing my thesis and apply for doctoral programs. I also will be taking the GRE once again. YES!!!!!
So if anyone is reading this and hasnt talked to me for a bit, give me a ring. For the most part, I have the time to talk.